Vanessa Hudgens to guest-star in Pussycat Dolls' Caesar's Palace nude mud-wrestling charity fun raiser
Las Vegas, Nevada - (Tongue-in-Cheek & Ass Mess): High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens has been booked for guest-star billing with the Pussycat Dolls at a special Caesar's Palace charity night centered on an all-female s...
Read full storyStrange Illness Plagues Peruvian Village After Meterorite Strike
Villagers in southern Peru were plagued by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a thunderous crash to Earth in their area, regional authorities said.
Read full storyScientists Prove Ugly People Can't Sing
If you want to know how good a singer you are, look in the mirror. This is the advice of Chief Researcher Colin Bimblepen of the University of Glamorgan, Pontypridd, South Wales.
Read full storyUK tornadoes caused by 172mph driver
Police have blamed reckless Porsche driver Tim Brady for causing the tornadoes that ripped through parts of central and southern England yesterday. In a dramatic police chase, he clocked up 172 miles per hour on a co...
Read full storyTory Bluetongue Virus Threatens PM
The Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, may be the first Labour PM in British history to be infected with the cringe-making deadly Tory bluetongue disease, it was revealed yesterday.
Read full storyBrian Blessed Admits He is Crap Actor
After a merciless onslaught of criticism from everyone in the world, including Amazonian pygmies, Inuit hermits and even babies not even born yet, Brian Blessed has given in and admitted that he is a very crap actor indeed
Read full storyKen Burns' next documentary: The Jena Six -- filmed entirely without any hanging nooses, racist people or 'White shade' trees
Los Angeles, California - Hot off his latest arrogant disregard for Hispanic WWII veterans in excluding them from his documentary "The War" before Hispanic groups spoke out and demanded that he include their contribution to the war, Ken Bur...
Read full storyEnd of Puppet Monarchy by Wednesday's Harvest Moon?
Buckingham Palace - (Armageddin'-On-A-Bit Mess): This year's Harvest Moon looks like the inevitable watershed for the Puppet Monarchy.
Read full storyBenitio del Toro to star in Hellboy 2
Actor Benitio del Toro has been cast as "Mumble Man" in the sequel to comic book movie Hellboy.
Read full storyLarge, hairy men form human shield around Robin Williams house
It has been reported that a human ring of burly hirsute men have gathered around the luxurious home of comedian Robin Williams.
Read full storyDaily Tosser louse green with envy at The Spoof's 'Britney: rehab lice ate my extensions' story
Fleet Street, London - (Risible Mess): A journo on the Daily Tosser tabloid has been fired after being unmasked as the envious louse who plagiarised a story published in The Spoof! earlier this year entitled Britney: rehab lice...
Read full storySeven Caves Found on Mars
New images from Mars, taken by NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft and the Mars Global Surveyor have shown what appears to be at least seven entrances to large caves on the slope of Arsia Mons, a Martian volcano.
Read full storyBush Revealed As A Hoax
The world was shocked today, as the president George W. Bush was revealed to be nothing more than a character acted by Saturday Night Live comedian Dan Aykroyd. Aykroyd - of Blues Brothers fame - has allegedly been performing the 'Bush' chara...
Read full storyCuba Sends Fidel to Taxidermist
Habanero Island, Cuba (IP) - Reports trickling into our news center indicate that the CIA has discovered that Fidel Castro died on Christmas Day of 2006. The new Cuban leadership became so nervous at his demise that they sent his body to top German...
Read full storyCourtroom Drama As Judge's Wig Falls Off
There was exciting real-life courtroom drama at the Old Bailey today as one of Britain's most senior judges became the laughing stock of the gallery in Court 4 when his wig fell off.
Read full storyLondon Bus Queue Rudeness has Local Impact
London (IP) - Our reporter received a disturbing report from a local school aged chap named Pip whose last name shall remain anonymous to protect his privacy.
Read full storyNorthern Rock claims latest victim
A new Chinese fast food service with outlets in Grimsby, Sunderland and Holmfirth is the latest victim of the recent media attention given to bank money-lending and has been forced to change its name to avoid confusion amongst potential investors.
Read full storyAlan Greenspan's Wife Is A Hottie!
(Washington) - Former Chairman of the Federal Reserve, 81-year-old Alan Greenspan, has wed Andrea Mitchell, a former NBC news correspondent.
Read full storyAsteroid Used to Create Earth Ring Like Saturn's
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - Scientists, the military, and artists combined their forces to create an eclectic group which created a ring around the Earth for scientific and aesthetic purposes.
Read full storyBoy Scouts Lost Survive on Roasted Bear
Waynesville, North Carolina (IP) - A troop of a dozen Boy Scouts and their three leaders were found to be in safe condition this morning by rescue parties. They had strayed off of the main trail and decided to spend the night camping rather than try...
Read full storyChelsea's Grant Admits He Is Worried About Hull
Chelsea caretaker manager Avram Grant has admitted in an interview that he is "taking very seriously" the threat posed by Hull City ahead of Wednesday night's Carling Cup third round ti...
Read full storyVictoria Beckham Fuming Over Portrait - David Terrified
Recent American imports The Beckhams are reported to be furious over a portrait of Victoria commissioned by David Beckham for her "official 21st birthday" (real age 47 years).
Read full story"Baboon's Ass Beetle" Blamed for Honey Bee Colonies Collapsing
US and A - Scientists and apiarists were confounded to discover last week that the main cause for a recent collapse in honey bee colonies is a new species of insect known as the 'Baboon's Ass Beetle'.
Read full storyCherie: RAF refuse helicopter
RAF personnel were accused of risking Cherie Blair's life by refusing to provide a helicopter to winch the mother of eight clear of the Somerset beach where she lies stranded.
Read full storySeeking Election, Warren Redlich Fuses Himself with Botfly via Experimental Machine
Guilderland, New York (Times Union Staff Writer) - In a desperate attempt to regain a spot on the Guilderland Town Board election ballot, a delusional Warren 'I-am-seeing-red' Redlich has fused himself with a species of botfly via an experime...
Read full storyChelsea To Concentrate On 'Staying In The Premiership'
Avram Grant, the new Chelsea 'manager', has said in an interview that the priority at Stamford Bridge for the rest of this season, is to stay in the Premier League and avoid relegation.
Read full storyJournalists "may have to be slaughtered" as election fever spreads
The Government's Chief Medical Officer has ordered that a section of Fleet Street, London, be cordoned off as laboratory tests show an outbreak of election fever.
Read full storyEquestrian VII
'I am sure Surgeon Alistair and Veterinary Rufus will back me up if I say that our Jennet, men have renamed her Janet, is regularly seen by both of them, and medically douched on weekly bases for VD prevention. Additionally, the jennet's presence is informally legalized by attributing her to Division Commanding General's benevolent wife who once ran into this little cute jennet s...
Read full storyHillary Clinton Promises Health Care for All, Insects Included
The former first lady has created quite a buzz in the insect world, reports Freddie the Fly, shown here in his new prescription sunglasses provided by the Clinton campaign.
Read full storyYet Another Rare and Strangely Named Disease Identified in Britain
Scientists confirmed yesterday that an outbreak of 'Brown Nose' disease had been identified in pudding-faced old-Etonian and Conservative Party Leader, David Cameron at the annual party conference in Blackpoo...
Read full storyBush Predicts Clinton Nomination
President Bush is predicting that Hillary Clinton will win the 2008 Democratic presidential primary.
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