Northern Rock claims latest victim

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Monday, 24 September 2007

image for Northern Rock claims latest victim
Hung Lo thinks of a new name for his business empire

A new Chinese fast food service with outlets in Grimsby, Sunderland and Holmfirth is the latest victim of the recent media attention given to bank money-lending and has been forced to change its name to avoid confusion amongst potential investors.

The founder of the chain, Wuan Hung Lo, 44, emigrated from Bejing in 1998 and built up his empire in a few short years. He opened his first shop in Holmfirth in 2004. He began washing dishes in his cousin's restaurant for well below the minimum wage for sometimes 15 hours a day until he had enough money to go out on his own.

Wuan told In Seine News: "I had to go to see if the banks would rend me some money so I could start my own business. I tried several, but they turned me down - that was until I asked Northern Lock who were quite eager to rend me the money. I was so glateful that I decided to call my fast-food service 'Northern Wok' in their honour."

"I first began selling hot noodles to the BBC film crews and actors of "Rast of the Summer Wine". I think Nola Batty was my first customer and so news soon splead. I was going to cor it 'Hot Noodle', but thought it sound too much rike 'Pot Noodle' (anyway they don't use any Chinese lecipe to make it - so not genuine). Within weeks the shop became so successful, I decide to open another in Byker and needed some more money. Some famous people like Jimmy Nair have invested with me but their sponsolship is not enough so I go to bank for help - Yorkshire Bank not help and Bladfod and Bingrey just laughed at me. Harifax laughed too. Northern Lock is best!"

"My hot noodles were going like er…hot noodles and I soon froated my shops on slock exchange. Then I heard that many investors were craiming mirrions of pounds flom bank Northen Lock rike there's no tomollow! It is happening to my sharehorders too - that is why I have to change my name to bling in more investors"

Jimmy Nail is currently appearing in Snow White & 6 Dwarves at Crucible Theatre, Sheffield.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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