Benitio del Toro to star in Hellboy 2

Funny story written by Jesus Budda

Monday, 24 September 2007

image for Benitio del Toro to star in Hellboy 2
Colin Firth plays "Colin the Monster" in the new Hellboy movie

Actor Benitio del Toro has been cast as "Mumble Man" in the sequel to comic book movie Hellboy.

"I've admired Benito for his whole career", said fat red haired, beardy director Guillermo del Torres.

The film will see Hellboy, played by Ron Pearlman, taking on the Chinese Communist Party led by lizard monster "Colin" (played by British actor Colin Firth).

"This film will be unique", said del Torres, "in that nothing happens and you get to see nothing for the whole 2 hour runtime.All you hear are random voices and the odd sound effect.Times are tough and we simply don't have any money. Except for my salary. And my hookers."

Asked if this might put off some viewers, del Torres was adamant it would not.

"The fan boy geeks will go watch anything- even if there is nothing there to see. They are so dumb",laughed del Torres as his belly wobbled in excited bliss and foam gathered around the corners of his gaping mouth.

Latest reports state superstar actor Jack Nicholson will appear in the film playing himself. On set reports say that the legendary Oscar winner has a large muscle-bound male escort sh*t on him during the climatic ending to the movie which take place on the roof of Macy's.

This is the only scene in the movie that has actually been filmed but apparently del Torres may cut it out before the final release date.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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