"Baboon's Ass Beetle" Blamed for Honey Bee Colonies Collapsing

Written by SpaceElevator

Monday, 24 September 2007

image for "Baboon's Ass Beetle" Blamed for Honey Bee Colonies Collapsing
What an ass!

US and A - Scientists and apiarists were confounded to discover last week that the main cause for a recent collapse in honey bee colonies is a new species of insect known as the 'Baboon's Ass Beetle'.

The beetle (also known as the 'Bubble-Butt Bug' in some parts of the world) has a disproportionately large posterior that makes passage through small spaces very difficult.

"We are basically talking about a Bull-in-a-China-Shop here," said veteran beekeeper Skip Towne. "If you have ever seen a really obese person try to make it down the aisle of an airplane with all of their luggage in tow -- this is a similar scenario. The beetles just wreak havoc on the beehives."

Now that the culprits are known, the California Almond Consortium (who rely heavily on honeybees' ability to pollenate) has placed a $100-million-dollar bounty on the asses of all beetles that match the description.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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