Boy Scouts Lost Survive on Roasted Bear

Monday, 24 September 2007

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Scouts Survive Wilderness for Weeks

Waynesville, North Carolina (IP) - A troop of a dozen Boy Scouts and their three leaders were found to be in safe condition this morning by rescue parties. They had strayed off of the main trail and decided to spend the night camping rather than try to get out at night. The night turned into weeks and the Scouts were forced to live out a real live survival scenario.

One chubby Scout named Lucedious Macedishious was playing around with a large sling shot by the camp fire and complained that he was so hungry that he could eat a bear. No sooner than he had uttered those words than a 450 pound black bear stumbled into their camp.

Lucedious loaded the sling shot with a fist sized river pebble and let loose with it in the direction of the bear. The bear was hit in the head and died instantly.

The Scouts cleaned the bear and prepared a large cooking fire. At each end of the fire they set up a large "Y" shaped branch which had its lower end sharpened and each "Y" was hammered tightly into a hole in the ground. A cross piece which acted as a large spit was set between the two "Y" shaped logs and the bear meat was set upon the spit.

The Scouts took turns slowly turning the meat so it would cook evenly. Other Scouts processed the bear skin and turned it into coats. The smoked bear meat lasted for months. The Scouts also made makeshift nets and other fishing gear and caught trout and other fish for food. They ate wild vegetables and black berries provided them with vitamin C.

They built a wooden wall outside of a large rock overhang and this provided them with warm shelter. They used their mess kits to boil water from the stream and were never thirsty.

They were finally rescued yesterday and some of them were actually disappointed that the adventure did not last longer. One Scout leader, who now sported a beard, said that it was an ideal experience and the whole adventure had taught the boys that there is more to life than TV, electronic games, and computers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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