Habanero Island, Cuba (IP) - Reports trickling into our news center indicate that the CIA has discovered that Fidel Castro died on Christmas Day of 2006. The new Cuban leadership became so nervous at his demise that they sent his body to top German taxidermists. The taxidermists then sent his preserved carcass to animation specialists in Hollywood, California.
The animation specialists installed various mechanical and robotic apparatus that allow his body to move its arms and legs and its lips. One unique figure is a pneumatic contraption which allows Fidel's stuffed remains to smoke cigars. Speech is accomplished by a high fidelity Bozz audio system. This means that Fidel can be propped up on a Habana balcony and he can spout some more endless and inane speeches about this and that in a way very similar to Osama's sleep inducing video's. Fidel has been known to talk on for hours and he loves to hear himself speak.
Long ago the Cuban people, who on a regular basis are strongly urged into the huge town square in Havana by the thousands to listen to Castro's drivel, learned how to sleep on their feet so as to not hurt Castro's Stalin-like feelings.
One can only imagine 50 years from now in what is left of Havana's crumbling oceanside ruins that Castro will be brought out to give a speech but only a handful of folks will be around to hear him along with a few old burros and chickens. Pedro will turn to Jose and say, "Hey Jose, whoever of us is the last one in town, let's not forget to bring down the flag, si?