American Real Estate Crash - Foreclosures hit 63%

Funny story written by TheOneLaw

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

The epidemic of property foreclosures is revealed as more and more signs, typically from the Ron Paul rEVOLution agency, sprout across America.

The currently unfolding subPrime financial debacle has unleashed a tidal wave of foreclosures. I and our field reporters made a special trip to America to see for ourselves - we made a road trip from New York to Los Angeles to get a real 'on-the-road' look at what is going on without getting caught up in any of the normal hype encountered by teleconferencing with self-important local representatives. We were surprised - our casual, visual inventory reveals that according to sign counts taken on road surveys across the country the density of foreclosures account for as much as 63% of all properties on the market in many states.

Noted foreclosure specialist firm Ron Paul rEVOLution has seen an explosion in listings over the past three months in particular. Signs are particularly rife throughout the western states, a sober indication for the farming and ranching economy for the western seaboard. Sign clusters seen throughout suburbs and downtown areas the eastern states almost certainly foretell more painful institutional failures lay ahead. While the numbers are intimidating, there is another side to this story, as one homeowner interview revealed.

In Joplin, Missouri we stopped to inquire of homeowner Jesse Hathaway who had a Ron Paul rEVOLution sign posted on his property.

When asked if he expected to get full value for his property, Jesse replied, "I just hope I get enough to pay the principal and interest - we can barter for the equity if you like."

A reply a bit disconcerting, but we chalked it up to the jetlag. We asked how well the Ron Paul agency treated its clients and whether he would recommend Ron Paul for other homeowners in financial distress.

Jess was blunt, "Ron Paul looks at every one as equal, and of course we recommend him to anyone, even if they don't own a home. One of the nice things about Ron Paul is if you ask any one of us will give you a sign if you need one."

Needless to say, our field reporters were a bit confused, but recognized that not being native Americans was probably the reason for this. Jesse gave us a sign anyway, and not wishing to be rude, we accepted it and left to continue our journey across a land of foreclosure sales.

Later, we were a bit surprised when a family spotted our souvenir in the back of our rental SUV at a truck stop and they asked us where they could get one. We directed them back toward Mr. Hathaway's residence.

As we waited for our flight home at LAX, I realized an important bit - not once had we ever seen a Ron Paul rEVOLution office or storefront, and no one had ever told us where such an establishment might be. Looking at the sign I see it has no telly number.

Sometimes I wonder how Americans ever got to where they are today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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