A leaked email from the Home Office to a firm of contractors has revealed that the government is planning to build a giant dome to encapsulate the whole of East Anglia on the ground that it is the most disaster-prone part of the country.
The leaked email, which was to be published by the Daily Telegraph, but was re-leaked to the Daily Mail, and then re-re-leaked to the Sun Newspaper and then forwarded to everyone in Kelvin Mackenzie's address book, and finally re-re-re-leaked to everyone in the world who has an email address, reads:
From: corruptbastard@homeoffice.gov.uk
To: director@cowboybuilders.co.uk
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Our criminal conspiracy
Wozzup? I confirm you'll get the contract to build the Millennium Dome (ha-ha) round East Anglia to keep the swampies in. Gordon's sick of foot and mouth. Meet me at the Cenotaph on Sunday with a thousand monkeys and the contract's yours.
The Government has denied any official knowledge of the plan to build a dome round East Anglia and has vigorously denied sanctioning the email. A spokesman for the Government told our reporter that they will be investigating who corruptbastard@homeoffice.gov.uk might be, though it will probably take weeks to trawl through the list of suspects.
Meanwhile, Tory leader David Cameron has announced a new policy of building a dome around East Anglia to protect the rest of us from floods, foot & mouth and swampies.
