God is a D.J.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Space, the final frontier - Cassini-Huygens at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory California Institute of Technology has reported music from Saturn, proving once and for all that God is a D.J.
Read full storyIndia-Canada in secret deal to provide asylum to bin Laden. Pentagon furious - threatens to nuke Canada
Newly de-classified Pentagon documents reveal that Canada and India have been involved in back-channel diplomacy with Al-Qaeda to provide Osama bin Laden with asylum.
Read full storyMuslims Expose British Fascism
In a brave attack on Great Britain's Nazi totalitarianism, the Muslim Council of Britain has laid bare that country's evil betrayal of the many Muslims who have flocked to its shores.
Read full storyTeenager Wins Place in Guinness Book of World Records for Farting
Clyde Snodgrass, of Columbus Ohio has set a new Guinness World Record for the "Highest Number of Farts in a One Hour Period." The 17 year old high school student trained for six months in preparation for the competition which was held this...
Read full storyThe Key Shop
Dad's locksmith shop was a perfect circle. So round that I don't think I can tell you the square footage of the place. It was small though. So small that one day when an epileptic friend of my father's had a fit in the shop, he took up nearly the length of the place, front to back, when he fell.
Read full storyUK terror detention limit is longest of any democracy
A survey by human rights organisation, Liberty, of terror detention limits around the world has shown that the UK has the harshest regime of any democracy. At 99 years before charges are brought, the limit has provoked criticism world wide. The m...
Read full storySchwarzenegger, the new bionic man
Before California governor "Aaaahnald" Schwarzenegger went under the knife this weekend to remove a metal plate and cables that held his leg together after a skiing accident in Sun Valley last December, doctors asked the encumbered and punc...
Read full storyNorthern Rock denies 'Axis of Evil' Claim
Northern Rock has hit back at George W Bush's claim that it is part of the Axis of Evil by saying that it was "just a case of sour grapes" by the US President.
Read full storyArsene Wenger in Johnny Foreginer Storm
Arsene Wenger, the semi-sighted manager of Arsenal has today become embroiled in fresh controversy, this time regarding his real identity and nationality.
Read full storySaint Paris Hilton Of "The Simple Life"
(New York-NY) There are those who think a Jew should not be marshalling forth an argument of why Paris Hilton should be canonized as the saint of the 21st century. But speech is free, and you know how we sons and daughters of Israel like a deal. Is that Cossack horse hoof beats I hear or are you just excited about reading my analysis? Look if it makes my gentile readers (Catholics and Episcopalia...
Read full storyWriters pull the plug on America's Happiness
Hollywood, CA - Like many of our you, we've been worried about how we'll survive the Writers Strike.
Read full storyIsrael Recall Jesus and Moses for Russia Match
The general consensus is that England need a miracle to qualify for Euro 2008 and they may have gotten just that, with the news that Israel have surprisingly recalled Moses and Jesus to their squad for the clash with the Russians. Moses, who hasn'...
Read full storySex, lies and videotape: Musharraf promotes fornicating judges!
A British news source confirmed yesterday that Pakistan's intelligence agency sent secretly taped sex videos to at least 3 of 11 Supreme Court judges to ensure a favorable vote i...
Read full storyBush Snacks on Wounded Soldiers
San Antonio, CA - President Bush recently visited wounded soldiers at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, California.
Read full storyCameron: Rape Is Bad
Conservative leader David Cameron is expected to call for the law to be tightened to ensure that more men are convicted of rape in court. In a shock announcement Cameron said it didn't matter if they were guilty, and that sound bites and convicti...
Read full story"Smoking Crack with Jack": Nicholson gets once off Christmas TV Special
Hollywood legend Jack Nicholson is to get a once off Holiday special TV talk show where he interviews friends while under the influence of narcotics.
Read full storyPresidential Barbie - On Sale Now!
Mattel today unveiled it's newest Barbie doll - President Barbie - which looks a lot like Hillary Clinton.
Read full storyPoltergeist Elected New Lib Dem Leader
The new leader of the Liberal Democrats is a poltergeist, which was ejected from of of the Scottish Nationalist Party for throwing pans at 'loud supremo' Alex Salmond.
Read full storyOlympic Flame Lit Early - Great Fire Of London 2
During a trial run for the 2012 Olympic Games when a replica torch was used to ignite the traditional Olympic Flame, the resultant fire grew out of control and engulfed part of central London. Waterdon Road in Stratford, not far from Pudding Lane,...
Read full storyStripper Jenny Bigtits is Really a Man!
Private investigators hired by Mark Lowton, editor of on-line humor magazine TheSpoof.com, have determined that popular stripper and comedy writer Jenny Bigtits is really a man. "Yes, it's really a guy," said Lowton. "I've seen the pictures and...
Read full storyChelsy Davy videotape sex diary heart attack for Queen
London - (ReUterus & Ass mess): Chelsy Davy's decision to sell an intimate videotape sex diary of her three year fling with the Pretender's younger son Harry has sent the Queen's blood pressure boiling.
Read full storyWinehouse husband grasses up Kate Moss plea bargain cops in missing £6 million police expenses probe
London - (Conspiracy Mess): In an ironic twist of fate Amy Winehouse's husband has grassed up detectives who secured the dropping of Kate Moss's June 2006 drug charges in a plea bargain struck from the detox wing of HMP Belmarsh where he is o...
Read full storyDead Driver Had Glass Eyes!
When Gerald Germbottom drove his car on the A303 near Stonehenge in Wiltshire, England little did he know that he would be involved in a bizarre road traffic accident. You see, Gerald had a secret that he didn't want the police t...
Read full storyHugo Chavez and King Juan Carlos sent to Indian Yoga retreat to "get right with God" and repair relations
After the spat and food fight so comically and repleatly covered by the Queen (Mudder) in Santiago, Latin American leaders, Hugo Chavez and Spain's puppet monarch, King Juan Carlos were being sent by an unknown board of Latin American nationals c...
Read full storyChildren's TV Star Arrested for Fraud
Well known children's entertainer Robert 'Bob' The Builder was today arrested following a report on "Rogue Traders", the popular TV consumer programme.
Read full storyIllegal Canadians for Paul Streaming across US borders
Washington - Neither the department of Homeland Security nor the US State or Justice departs had any comment today as plans emerged from the blogosphere to smuggle hundreds if not thousands of 'expecting' Canadians for Paul c...
Read full storyIs it Children in Need or Wogan in Need?
This Friday 16th November 2007 will see the annual BBC Scroungethon called Wogan in Need.
Read full storyRyanair voted the World's favourite Airline
Today Monday 12th November 2007 a vote taken by Airline Passengers from all over the Globe unanimously voted Ryanair as the Worlds favourite and most caring Airline beating Brazilian TAM Linhas Aereas by a narrow margin.
Read full storyMySpace: The 21st Century Whorehouse
For purposes of identity protection, details concerning identities will not be exposed, either through this article or any subsequent communication with the author. Now, Onward!...
Read full storyCalifornians fed up with rising gasoline prices throw "Boston Tea Party" by dumping oil into San Francisco Bay; authorities calling it theft gone awry
San Francisco, California - Apparently, fed up with the high price of gasoline, a group of desperate Californians boarded an oil tanker in the San Francisco Bay to protest the raising prices of gasoline and rolled a few barrels of oil overboard. Boar...
Read full storyHillary Clinton in men's room scandal; Ron Paul not involved
New York Senator and aspiring presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was allegedly seen masturbating in a men's room at the Washington DC Marriot this afternoon, according to Republican sources.
Read full storyDemocrats Plan to Lower Taxes
Democratic presidential candidates have begun battling over who has the strongest tax-cutting credentials. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama dueled in the media yesterday with competing proposals to reduce the burden of taxes on Americans.
Read full storyApple Announces New iPod - Ron Paul Edition
Apple is coming out with yet another variation of its iPod line. Reminiscent of the infamous and highly successful U2 iPod of a few years ago, the new Ron Paul model should appeal to the candidate...
Read full storyClinton, Obama, Kucinich, McCain, Paul, Giuliani, Edwards using end-game tactics to attract southern voters prepare to square off in paintball game
Forget about debates. NRA (Naturally Rowdy Americans) spokesman, Jeff Winchester reports that all presidential candidates are preparing to square off in a paintball game.
Read full storyGas demands respect; says to call him "Mr. Petrol" from now on or else
Oil Platform Seven, North Sea - With all the political instability in oil producing regions of the world, estimates that China will consume more oil than the United States in the coming three years and oil already approaching the 100-dollar mark, gas...
Read full storyNotre Dame 1 and 9 Season - God No Longer Catholic
South Bend, Indiana (IP) - The Lord has changed his religion from Catholic to Baptist after having to put up with Notre Dame's 1 and 9 football season.
Read full storySpoof editor Mark Lowton to host big Christmas bash
Sporting a crop of newly-transplanted hair, slob-shmuck turned playboy Mark Lowton, Spoof's Chief Editor, CEO and the world's greatest boss, addressed the me...
Read full storyBrother Can You Spare A Dime: McCain Wants Arrange Loan From Ron Paul
Republican John McCain, climbing in polls but lagging in money, wants to negotiate a $3 million loan from the Ron Paul Campaign while some of his backers launch an independent advertising effort seemingly at odds with his years of fighting outside in...
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