Oil Platform Seven, North Sea - With all the political instability in oil producing regions of the world, estimates that China will consume more oil than the United States in the coming three years and oil already approaching the 100-dollar mark, gasoline has announced people are no longer permitted to call him by his first name and especially his nickname, gas. From now on, everybody is to refer to formally refer to him respectfully and formally by his last name, Mr. Petrol.
"I think the whole thing is ridiculous," said Tom Johnson an American Midwest framer growing corn to be converted into ethanol. "I for one to refuse to call him anything other than what I have been all these years, gas."
According the oil companies, they recommend that we submit to Mr. Petrol's demands or face the consequences.
"We can't take him for granted any more," said a spokesman for the American oil industry. "It's best that we humor him right now. We don't want to get him angry or he may cut us off altogether."
"We have always known of his value and always referred to him respectfully and formally as Petroleum," said a spokesperson for British Petroleum. "It's all you Yanks that have always disrespected him by building a infrastructure that emphasizes on decentralization and is devoid of viable system of mass transportation that caused you to be so dependant on him. The least you can do now is give in to his demands and call him by his proper Christian name."
In the interest of full disclosure, British petroleum has had a longstanding relationship with him in the North Sea and a longer history of colonial occupation of oil producing nations than the United States.
