Illegal Canadians for Paul Streaming across US borders

Funny story written by Cincinatus

Monday, 12 November 2007

image for Illegal Canadians for Paul Streaming across US borders

Washington - Neither the department of Homeland Security nor the US State or Justice departs had any comment today as plans emerged from the blogosphere to smuggle hundreds if not thousands of 'expecting' Canadians for Paul couples seeking a quick and easy road to US citizenship.

The Plot Unfolds

The idea came to light through Canadian supporters comments on Ron Paul related videos on the virally popular, google-owned, social networking site, youtube. Ron Paul, the affable Texas Republican currently running for the Republican nomination rose a staggering $4.3million ($12.68 Canadian) on Nov 5th.

While the government refuses to comment on potential suspects as cooperation is being discussed between US and Canadian governments, a Washington insider, who spoke on condition of anonymity said: "We're looking at thousands of Canadians who call themselves supporters of Ron Paul who were planning to illegally enter the country and have children with hopes of getting easy citizenship for themselves so as to subvert the Republican primary process."

Although the diplomat did refuse any actual comment when pressed on how the nationalities were confirmed, he did indicate that 'curling' was the group's code word for their nefarious plan.
Ron Paul has many international blogs that support his candidacy. The Iraqis voted him in in their mock poll, a fact not lost on Fox News opinionist Bill O'Reilly.

Though Ron Paul for his part was all talk; even whilst giving a letter to be read silently to one's self instead.

Not even for my own benefit

Ron Paul's campaign addressed the media with a written statement in which Dr. Paul condemned the Canadian ploy, saying that whilst he did appreciate the interest he was generating internationally, [he]would encourage a more ethical approach, such as follow the constitution or look for a close relative or someone who dodged the last quagmire known as Vietnam. and claiming citizenship through them before registering to vote. He noted: "I cannot support amnesty, not even for my own benefit."

Fox News Finds Growing Fears

Meanwhile, the new threat of Canadians as well as migrant workers jumping the borders, has 43% of US voters worried about Canadians spreading the popularity of non-interventionism, professional wrestling, and Survivorman, as the most pressing issue facing America's future today. That's more than Iran, Iraq, O.J or Brittany combined as the latest sample pole on FOX News indicated Sunday night November, 11th.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more