Schwarzenegger, the new bionic man

Funny story written by King David

Monday, 12 November 2007

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Schwarzenegger, the new bionic man

Before California governor "Aaaahnald" Schwarzenegger went under the knife this weekend to remove a metal plate and cables that held his leg together after a skiing accident in Sun Valley last December, doctors asked the encumbered and punctilious governor if he would like them to go on and replace all of the parts.

"With today's technology, it's just a matter of changing the oil," one doctor said.

The governor agree and all of the governor's parts were replaced with stainless steel retractable bionics that are guaranteed for up to 1,000 years. Doctors say that the parts were also fire retardant and would withstand up to 1,000 degrees centigrade.

Besides the obvious (replacing parts before they wear out), the advantage of having this procedure done for the governor was two fold: One, it will allow him increased mobility and strength. And, two, it should allow the governor and his wife, Maria Schriver more pleasure in the sack.

Doctors said that they did a penile implant and enlargement for the former bodybuilder that was programmable and adjustable and would increase the governor's length up to eight inches.

Rumor has it that Schwarzenegger may have done some irreparable damage to the old nardicles as a bodybuilder back in the Santa Monica days.

Dr. Kevin Frankenstein Gay, who performed the surgery, said that it was fun working on Schwarzenegger.

"We enjoyed the part of playing with his new, programmable penis," he said. "The remote control worked fine."

Dr. Frankenstein also commented that "Aaaahnald" was a great candidate for bionics because not only did he look the part, he acted it too. Bone structure also played a part.

The penis was reported to be made out of a pliable latex rubber, and it too would withstand up to 1,000 degrees centigrade.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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