A British news source confirmed yesterday that Pakistan's intelligence agency sent secretly taped sex videos to at least 3 of 11 Supreme Court judges to ensure a favorable vote in their ruling on whether Musharraf was eligible to run in yet another rigged Presidential election.
Judges with flagging libidos who were too shy to perform in front of the secret cameras were sent copies of anonymous letter describing their acts - had they performed.
Musharraf dismissed the entire Supreme Court for misbehaving, even though the misdemeanor had nothing to do with sex. It was the wire-tapping evidence as secret service men eavesdropped on deliberations that prompted the dismissal.
On a happier note the 1st, 2nd and 3rd star performers were promoted to high level positions for their loyalty & patriotism to the Benevolent Dictator. They will now deliver their decision on his request to remain El Presidente and Supreme Father of the Nation for Life. (Note: wire-tapping indicates a very, very favorable verdict will be forthcoming.)
BadDude Khan, Chief of the Dirty Tricks Agency confirmed the existence of these tapes. "If we are to keep the extremists from becoming extreme and the militants from becoming militant then we have to go after the judiciary. They are the biggest threat". BBC reporter Rod N Teeth challenged him on this "Isn't it Al Qaeda and the Taliban you should be taking care of?"
"Of course not" bristled BadDude flashing his pearly whites, "they are currently busy in the North West Frontier where they are busy entertaining our surrender monkey captured troops and providing them with their special brand of frontier hospitality - big platters of steaming mutton biryani, lovely dancing boys with kohl-rimmed eyes, etc. etc. etc."
When reminded that Foreign Ministers of the Commonwealth Group were meeting this morning in London to decide Pakistan's situation; whether to suspend Pakistan from the Commonwealth of Nations or to face heavy sanctions, BadDude roared with laughter. Slapping his khaki-clad thighs; wiping hilarious tears from his eyes he said, "What are they going to do, spank us? Yes we love a good spanking, I myself prefer a riding crop. Yes we do love to play Silly Bugger with the West. It's a fun game, have you ever played it. I am the world record holder. Here, drop your pants and I'll show you how it's done".
"But", said a serious Rod N, "isn't what you guys are doing undemocratic, not to mention unethical, immoral, illegal and utterly without integrity?"
"Thank you very much, you are very kind. Yes, we are the best in the world in all that. But Mr. Bush is our friend and also your Mr. Brown. Both BBs!! Oh dear we already have our own problem BB but these two chaps are jolly good for us. We are like poodles taking our owners for a walk, ha-ha! "
Asked whether the Intelligence Agency had any such secret tapes on Musharraf, BadDude smiled "Ah he is our premium performer. he can perform in so many roles, with so many outfit changes. He is a natural; he is always teaching us how to perform. We think he will win the Oscar for Best Performer in all categories this year, especially for his role in The Little Pretender. Would you like a pirated video?"
