Lunar Eclipse: Werewolves triple in number overnight
The lunar eclipse on Sunday the 4th of March 2007 has marked a comeback in the numbers of werewolves across the world, cosmologist and naturalist Michael Bull claimed today.
Read full storyEthiopia Kidnap Britons Found - In Alien Form
The five Britons kidnapped in northern Ethiopia were found last night wandering a disused quarry, each having turned blue and with several extra limbs each.
Read full storySan Francisco detumesces from kinky Armory proposal
San Francisco - (ReUterus): Proposals to turn San Francisco's State Armory & Arsenail building in the city's Missionary Position District into a mega S&M parlor cum film studio have flopped after an indignant outburst from local residents who...
Read full storyEdible animal found in Paris!
Paris- Confusion reigns in the French capital tonight as the shocking news that an edible animal, that does not appear to be on any menu, was found within the city limits.
Read full storyFisher Price and Mattel Unleash Kiddie Bongs, Barbie Bandits
A video was released to news stations on Sunday morning showing 2 teenagers teaching their toddler brothers and sisters to smoke marijuana. Fisher-Price and Mattel used their quick trigger fingers to react to the market.
Read full storyBush: "There's gonna be changes around here"
George W bush, president of the United States of America, has stated to a startled Congress, this morning, that he is set to implement a series of radical reforms.
Read full storyRuins in Athens may be another early Creationist Museum
Athens - (Rioters): Newly discovered 4th century BC ruins in the Voula maritime district may be the remains of yet another attempt by ancient fundamentalist retards to destroy precious Greek civilization artefacts by planting their own Creationist Mu...
Read full storyGreeks Caught Using Cocaine in Kebabs
For the first time ever the phenomenon surrounding boozy, late night kebab buying can be revealed. Scientists at the UK Centre for Nutrition have discovered that Greek takeaway food merchants have been, for some time, adding trace am...
Read full storyFarmer with biggest cock in the world terrorises Irish countryside
Just outside the bustling modern city of Dublin nestled in a quiet shady corner of the emerald isle lays the tiny, almost forgotten, hamlet of Innuendo. The village has never been known for anything more than the curious fact that Innuendo is the…
Read full storySympathy for the Devil #2: Russian Intelligence Expert Shot in Washington
Washington - (DissassoCIAted Press): A Russian intelligence expert who blamed George W Bush for the Plutonium 210 poisoning of former KGB turncoat Alexander Litvinenko in London last year has been critically injured after a mysterious drive-by shooti...
Read full storyMichigan body parts sent to wrong address
Cascade, Grand Rapids - (Rioters): A strictly vegan Michigan couple got the fright of their lives when body parts arrived mysteriously at their home by a courier company.
Read full storyGrammy-nominated Jai Uttal and the Pagan Love Orchestra bring peace to North Carolina Zoo
Grammy-nominated artist, Jai Uttal recently in the news for making music for yoga has turned to a different audience, chimpanzees. The chimpanzees in the Kitera Forest exhibit of the Africa Region in North Carolina's Zoological Park need entertai...
Read full storyMcWolf at the door
Wolves have been reintroduced to the Scottish Highlands for the first time in over 150 years. The plan is intended to combat the unprecedented growth in the deer population, which has soared to over 300,000 in recent years. For centu...
Read full storyAssociated Press Bans Paris Hilton Stories For One Week
Associated Press, the world's largest news wire service, recently completed and experiment. They decided to go one week without posting any story, picture, mention, or information about socialite and gutterslut Paris Hilton. For seven days, no...
Read full storyMoon stones
The Druids have been "up to their old tricks," according to Cecil Liversidge, acting Primus pilus of the XII Legion of the Lower Trunion invasion of Britain re-enactment brotherhood.
Read full storyBush visits storm ravaged Georgia
President George W. Bush and an entourage of federal and state officials visited the site of one of Georgia's most devastating natural disasters in Enterprise, Georgia today. Officials from FEMA and the Red Cross showed Bush the devastation cause...
Read full storyWallmar Stores Will Sell Meth and Crack in Rural Areas
Arkansas - Giant chain store Wallmar Corporation has announced it will begin selling crack and meth in rural areas. Wallmar spokesperson Angelfood Macspade says that there is a lack of minority drug dealers in rural areas and that Wallmar is simply f...
Read full storyAustrian kidnap victim vows to do a Britney
Vienna - (DissAssociated Press): Austrian kidnap victim Natascha Kampusch celebrated her 19th birthday yesterday by declaring she wants to shave off her hair in a tribute to popular heroine Britney Spears.
Read full storyScientists Cast Hand Shadows On Moon During Lunar Eclipse
Mount Palomar - Scientists stuck their hands in the air and cast the shadows of their hands on the lunar surface during last night's lunar eclipse. Easily visible on the surface of the moon were rabbit figures, a duck's head, a peace sign, D...
Read full story'Roast a British Chicken Weekend' 3rd and 4th March 2007
British fowl farmers are, as you might imagine, feeling a little edgy with recent news of the H5N1 virus (bird flu) being found at a Bernard Matthew's processing plant in Holton, near Halesworth. To counter their fears, the farmers have come up w...
Read full storySmack can keep children from crime
London - (Rotters): Giving children smack can keep them from turning to crime. That is the finding of a senior UK police officer who says the trouble with kids these days is they no longer respect their parents and turn to law breaking to get their...
Read full storyAntonella Barba And Nigella Lawson In Sizzling Photoshoot Sensation
The world's two most famous women whose parents obviously wanted boys when they were born, Nigella Lawson and Antonella Barba, are reported to have signed a sizzling exclusive picture deal with a top magazine.
Read full storySimon Cowell Disses Contestants On American Idol
American Idol judge, Simon Cowell, has admitted that the only real winners on the show are himself and his fellow judges.
Read full storySomehow Stephen Colbert Beats Out WritingGuy For Comedian Of The Year
Saturday night Comedy Fest, in what is being called 'the greatest tragedy in the history of earth' (with the death of our lord coming in a close second), somehow chose Stephen Colbert, and not the much more deserving writingguy for "
Read full storyNuns Gone Wild! at Catholic Mardi Gras Bash
The nuns have gone wild according to eyewitness reports of a catholic Mardi Gras bash last weekend.
Read full storyPastor Ted Haggard's Three-Week Total Body Success Plan for Complete Heterosexuality
My Dear Megachurch Flock,...
Read full storyObscene excess passed on to America.
Washington DC - Private investigators have determined that Halliburton Corporation has bilked the US taxpayers out of $3,000,000,000 in Iraq. When the proof was brought before members of Congress the majority displayed complete failure to investigat...
Read full storyGod names dream team for 2008 presidential cabinet
It was announced today, by God, that He is tired of playing second stringers and having to pinch-hit from behind and is ready to announce His dream team for the presidential cabinet of 2008.
Read full storyLearn UNIX in 20 minutes
BANGCOCK, THIGHLAND-(RUBERZ) "Operating UNIX is now so simple to use it can be learnt in 20 minutes.", brags Laparoscopic radical prostatectomy expert, Dr. Dick Shaftless, who has published research and ope...
Read full storyCaptain Hook to Appear with Heather Mills on "Dancing with the Stars"
Heather Mills was the first "hook" for the show, but ABC recently decided that one hook wasn't enough.
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