Fisher Price and Mattel Unleash Kiddie Bongs, Barbie Bandits

Funny story written by writingguy

Sunday, 4 March 2007

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A video was released to news stations on Sunday morning showing 2 teenagers teaching their toddler brothers and sisters to smoke marijuana. Fisher-Price and Mattel used their quick trigger fingers to react to the market.

"Kiddie Bongs come in a variety of designs and sizes depending on the age of your toddler, including the ever-popular Barney bong. Teaching your kid to smoke pot has never been easier." said Michael Stricht, marketing director at Fisher-Price.

Just place your mouth on the bong and it emits a variety of fun sayings and phrases. We got our hands on a few of the most popular.

Dora the Explorer:

"This is what it's like every day in columbia!"

"Screw saving the animals, it's the plants that count!"


"Elmo's dizzy! So dizzy..."

"Good one! Two more of those and you'll be able to hear Dorothy talk too!"

"Elmo has the munchies! Do you have the munchies too? Let's go ask Mr. Noodle."

But they're not stopping there. Fisher-Price and Mattel are teaming to unleash a product line entitled Toys For Future Crazies and Criminals.

The Barbie Twins: Bandit Edition is a member of the new campaign. Twins Break and Enter come with street clothes along with 10 extra sunglass sets and a pair of parachute pants for carrying the cash that 'just won't fit in the bag'.

Other toys include Shave Barbie's Head, Everyone's Doing It!, which comes with a "Barbie, 1 Night Only" sign to be placed at whatever rehab center Barbie might choose.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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