The five Britons kidnapped in northern Ethiopia were found last night wandering a disused quarry, each having turned blue and with several extra limbs each.
Government representatives, including the UK's top translators, were flown out instantly, along with the families of each victim to identify the bodies.
Mrs. Completelyhumanhonest, mother of one of the victims, was distraught as she spoke to us in an exclusive comment:
"It's my Frank, but he's completely different. He keeps making this high pitched whining noise, and his eyes have gone all green. Not to mention the blue skin."
The UK government has put a gag on the full story until the immediate crisis is over; however, this could be man's first contact with alien life.
