Blair's Priest's brother is top Maddie abduction suspect
London - (Ass Mess): Ronald V Seedy, brother of Father Michael Seedy, Tony Blair's personal priest, is emerging as a top suspect in the disappearance of a little four year old British girl abducted six weeks ago in a Portuguese holiday resort in...
Read full storyWilliam: The Day I Learned I Would Never Be King
London - (Ass Mess): A bewildered and utterly betrayed Heir Apparent to the Pretender to the Puppet Throne has spoken for the first time about how he found out he hasn't a hope in hell of ever becoming King - except in the febrile Nazi imaginatat...
Read full storyBaby Jasmine does her first commercial
Ten-year-old "Baby Jasmine," the infant discoved in a Magic Kingdom toilet, is slated to do her first commercial for Disney in September.
Read full storyBig Brother 8 - Bosses Send in Hungry Big Cats
Endemol producers today bowed to public pressure in a bid to boost flagging ratings in the Big Brother house by sending in two big slobbering males in the early hours of this morning.
Read full storyMilitary drafting dangerous prisoners
(Washington, DC) Taking a scene from the motion picture The Dirty Dozen, the Army has been secretly drafting convicted felons into its ranks.
Read full storyRemote-controlled cockroach found in White House
(Washington, DC) Life imitating art imitating life was the general consensus among visitors to the White House Friday when word leaked of the discovery of a cyborg cockroach near the West Wing.
Read full storyRushdie Honoured
Bombay born author Salman Rushdie has been honoured with a Sainthood in the Queen's Birthday Honours List.
Read full storyRoddick threatens lawsuits over George Bush paternity story
Queens Club, London - (Ass Mess): A livid Andy Roddick threatened hellfire damnation lawsuits at anybody repeating the story that George W Bush is his blood father.
Read full storyRushdie knighted for stirring up Islamic fundamentalism
London - (Ass Mess): That old plagiarising wannabe writer Salman Rushdie has been knighted in the Puppet Monarchy's Birthday honors for services to racial hatred and stirring up fundamentalism.
Read full storyBAFTA glory weekend for Amitabh Bachchan
London - (Ass Mess): It's London's turn to go Bolly-mad this weekend as the British Academy of Film and Television Arts hosts an Amitabh Bachchan spectacular retrospective to honor the Indian megastar's stellar career.
Read full story"Enormous" market for slimming pill
With obesity becoming an epidemic practically worldwide, drug companies have been in a race to find a diet pill that can be sold without a prescription. Victoria Beckham won that race with a new drug called Anti-Mc.
Read full storyDavid Hasselhoff wins 'America's Most Funny Video' and Primary Custody of Kids too
Hollywood, California - In what can only be described as an aborted attempt to make a home video for the light hearted TV series, 'America's Most Funny Video,' David Hasselhoff, of 'Bay Watch,' fame appears, ironically, bare-ches...
Read full storyRudy Giuliani Endorses Flushable Hemorrhoid Wipes
Rudy Giuliani took a bold step in his campaign today, announcing his support for flushable hemorrhoid wipes. "This simple technology will help America deal with the terror of a serious health problem," the former Mayor said at a benefit for...
Read full storyTax Exceeds Wage
Chancellor of the Exchequer and Prime Minister-in-waiting Gordon Brown is facing calls for his resignation following a research bulletin released by The Taxpayers Federation of Great Britain.
Read full storyJohn Edwards Wins Lottery
Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards announced Friday that he won the Cayman Islands lottery, with a prized reported at $27 million. Edwards indicated he would take the lump sum cash payment of $12 million, and use a substa...
Read full storyHumans invited to Inter galactic sports
Jupiter/Earth: In a giant leap for the human sports, on Monday aliens from other galactic stars sent a ultra super sonic message stating that after viewing the progress in human sports especially dope cases, they have found the earthlings fit to comp...
Read full storyPolice Investigate Audacious Theft Of Queen's Handbag
Police from Scotland Yard are investigating the theft of Her Majesty the Queen's handbag which was taken whilst the monarch was attending the Trooping the Colour on Saturday morn...
Read full storyEngland Players Get Married To Solidify Strong Player Relations
Three England players were married today in the biggest show of commitment to the national team for decades.
Read full storyArise Sir Beefy - Queen's Birthday Honours List
Ian Botham, the former England cricket all-rounder, has been knighted in the Queen's Birthday Honours.
Read full storyWorld Bank looted
Somewhere(maybe America): After years of collecting funds from the many members of UNO, the World Bank has proved to be a huge drain on the economy of the member countries.
Read full storyBush to marry Queen Elizabeth
Washington D.C: In a follow up to the winking incident witnessed between Bush and Great Britain's Queen Elizabeth, Bush has revealed that he has irresistible attraction for her and intends to propose to her when he visits England...
Read full storyDino Discovery-Scientists see the softer side of Tyrannosaurus rex.
When paleontologists find fossilized dinosaur bones during a dig, they usually do everything in their power to protect them, using tools like toothbrushes to carefully unearth the bones without inflicting any damage. However, when scientists found a...
Read full story"My Wife's Ghost Is Police Informant" Claims Barrymore
The ghost of Michael Barrymore's dead wife Cheryl is acting as a police informant, claims the under-pressure deviant.
Read full storyHeavy Flooding In West Midlands Uproots Housing Estate
There was heavy rain in the West Midlands area yesterday, and emergency services were on full alert today as more bad weather was expected.
Read full storyBig Brother Shabnam: The Post-eviction Interview
Big Brother 2007 got its first regulation evictee last night when Shabnam Biryani was booted out of the House to a crescendo of booing from the crowd of around 10,000 people waiting outside.
Read full storyAl qaeda declares war! Claims American heritage.
After years of patient hiding, without proper food, water or other resources, the al quaeda terrorists have declared war on america.
Read full storyJekyll is to Hyde as Frank is to "Quixote"
District of Columbia - Leaving a wake of mayhem in his path, aspiring "Don Quixote" and veteran Congressman Barney Frank announced to his constituents that he will take on 'little tobacco' next.
Read full storyBill Clinton, Paris Hilton, Others Change Their Names
When he heard that Congressman William Jefferson had been indicted on bribery charges, former President William Jefferson Clinton felt that his own name was toast. He quickly changed it to former President John Doe Clinton.
Read full storyKelly Clarkson Commits Industry Suicide
Looks like Kelly Clarkson has committed music industry hari-kari by biting the hand that fed her. Kelly, after two successful CD's has become the all knowing, all-powerful OZ. From being a waitress to best selling music artist has transformed her...
Read full storyPentagram Liars slander Iran for IUD's in Iraq/Afghanistan
TEHRAN (Kavkaz Center News Agency) - Innocent victim Iranian officials remained quiet today as devil Bush regime's puppet Pentagram mouthpiece Robert Gates lobbed a hot potato of lies, accusing Iran's Quds Force of providing weapons and IUD&#...
Read full storyBritney Spears Asks Fans to Name her New Album
Hollywood, California - As a sign of her full recovery and comeback, Britney Spears invited her fans to log onto her website and vote for the title for her new up coming album. Fans have a choice among five album titles to pick. Spears personally pr...
Read full storyHugh G. Largestash III on the Little People
I, Hugh G. Wadmore III, gadabout, never worked a day in my life. I despise those who can't live on the interest of their interest.
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