London - (Ass Mess): That old plagiarising wannabe writer Salman Rushdie has been knighted in the Puppet Monarchy's Birthday honors for services to racial hatred and stirring up fundamentalism.
The author of The Satanic Verses has been credited with inflaming more racial hatred, irrational superstitious religious intolerance and fundamentalist percesution than all the previous writers of his generation who ever attempted cashing in quick on debunking the holy books and scriptures od their forefathers.
Looking smug and utterly confident in his self-publicity today Rushdie and his equine-toothed wife Padma Lakshmi were utterly cock-a-hoop at the glory of the KBE.
"This is even better news than the £10 million of British taxpayers' money that has been lavished on police protection for me since the Ayatollahs pronounced me a corrupting influence," Rushdie told the press today.
"The fatwa issued by Ayatollah Khomenei sent sales of my book soaring into the stratosphere.
"Today's KBE is just the icing on the cake.
"And now I can enjoy all of that cake and eat it at the same time!
"Bottoms UP everybody!"