Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 16 June 2007

image for England Players Get Married To Solidify Strong Player Relations
The three girls they jilted...

Three England players were married today in the biggest show of commitment to the national team for decades.

Manchester United's Gary Neville and Michael Carrick, and Liverpool's Steven Gerrard married each other in a 'bond of allegiance' which will no doubt spur the Three Lions on to success in their remaining Euro 2008 qualifying games.

On Friday, Chelsea's John Terry almost ruined the build-up when he controversially opted out of the planned 4-way wedding and tied the knot with his bird, Toni Poole instead.

Gerrard said:

"E's the captain. E's got to do what 'e thinks is right, for 'imself and the team."

Terry's celebrations at Blenheim Palace in Woodstock in Oxfordshire are believed to have cost more than £1million, but the Blues' skipper isn't concerned.

"It's OK", he said, "I earn that in a fortnight."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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