Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 16 June 2007

image for Arise Sir Beefy - Queen's Birthday Honours List
Mrs ER Queen

Ian Botham, the former England cricket all-rounder, has been knighted in the Queen's Birthday Honours.

Botham, known as Beefy because of all the meat pies he consumes, has received his knighthood as a reflection of his achievements on the field, his long walks for charity and for his acting prowess in TV advertisements, most notably for Shredded Wheat.

Another sportsman to figure in the list is West Ham striker Teddy Sheringham who still tries to play at the ripe old age of 46. Sheringham gets his MBE in recognition for the way he dumped the disgraced Celebrity Big Brother racist Danielle Lloyd.

Ryan Giggs gets the OBE for daring to play for Prince Charles' favourite team, Wales, for so long, and Ricky Tomlinson is to receive the CBE for his role as 'Dad' in the Queen's favourite drama The Royle Family.

Other award winners include Jade Goody, who is made a DOPE, and Michael Barrymore who will receive a COURT SUMMONS for a murder charge he is on.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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