Big Brother Shabnam: The Post-eviction Interview

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 16 June 2007

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Big Brother 2007 got its first regulation evictee last night when Shabnam Biryani was booted out of the House to a crescendo of booing from the crowd of around 10,000 people waiting outside.

Shabnam, or Shabby as she has become known, received more than 81% of the public vote for execution, and was visibly shocked at the level of indignation from the baying crowd as she stood rooted to the gantry in front of them.

Show host Davina McCall rescued Biryani and led her to safety as bricks and other missiles rained down upon the pair in the most fitting post-eviction lynching in the show's history.

The reaction of the fans outside the House was so intense and, indeed, so loud, that TV viewers at home said they could still hear the booing even after they had switched off their televisions.

In the interview studio afterwards, McCall asked Shabby some pointed questions:

DM: Did you enjoy your time in the House?

S: Where's me make up?

DM: Are you disappointed to have been evicted now that there are four new men in the House?

S: Not really, I usually munch carpet. I'm a lezzer!

DM: What do you feel about Charley?

S: Talkin'? Non-stop? Someone should give her a few commas.

DM: What have you learnt about yourself from being in the BB House?

S: Er...what? Whatever!

DM: What is your best memory of the experience?

S: What's an experience? It's been a f*ckin' blarst! Whatever! Whatever! Whatever! Blarst! Blarst! Whatever!

DM: Someone take her batteries out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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