President Bush "Not smart" study says
A study released this week reveals that George Bush is not smart. The paper, by the National Association of Institutes and Foundations (NAIF), could go a long way toward explaining some of the president's recent policy problems.
Read full storyWas Cheney a VIP at Ukrainian PM's hunting party?
Chernobyl Forest - (Rioters): Ukrainian secret service personnel are investigating reports that US Vice President Dick Cheney may have been a VIP guest at Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych's wild boar hunting party where Yevgeny Kushnaryov, one of...
Read full storyDead soldier's sperm harvested
Tel Aviv - (Ass Mess): Inconsolable at the death of her soldier son, Mrs Rachel Cohen went to the High Court to order an immediate extraction of his sperm 'in case some nice young fertile lady without the blessing of a partner' might need it...
Read full storyBritney Spears Loses Her Wet Beaver
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA, BABYLON--Pop star and high society flasher, Britney Spears, made a tearful plea yesterday at a news conference asking the public's help in locating the person or persons responsible for the kidnapp...
Read full storyMan arrested for cutting cow's head off
A man has been arrested on suspicion of cutting a cow's head off in the middle of Bakewell High Street last Thursday.
Read full storyKu Klux Klan in Lifetime Achievement Award for Celebrity Big Brother Moron
London - (Rotters): The Ku Klux Klan has voted unanimously to honor a racist bigmouth slag on the Celebrity Big Brother show with its Lifetime Acheivement Award. The white supremacists' Rapture over her much-publicised TV rant has revived their g...
Read full storyBush Admits to "raunchy nights" with Blair
America's president, George W. Bush today admitted to the allegations that he and British Prime Minister, Tony Blair had been having an affair.
Read full storyHobbit Took Part In Amazing Adventure Claims Secret Report
In a story that's more like something straight out of a blockbuster movie than real life, a Hobbit named Bilbo Baggins is denying that he has taken part in an amazing adventure.
Read full storySemen In McNuggets Was Not Deliberate - McDonalds
The manager of a McDonalds restaurant where semen was found in Chicken McNuggets, has claimed that it was an accident.
Read full storyCelebrity Big Brother Danielle Signed Up for C4 Show
One of the villains of the current Celebrity Big Brother, Danielle Lloyd, has been signed up for her own TV show by Channel 4. The show, which has been pencilled-in to start in Spring, will be a mixture of Bitch talk and gossip-type...
Read full storyBlair's Gatekeeper arrested
London - (Rioters): "Are you the Keymaster?" was all that Prime Mobster Tony Blair's PR chief Ruth Turner could manage to whisper over the intercom when a 5am ring on the doorbell brought Fraud Squad officers who arrested her in their p...
Read full storyRumsfeld Goes Down To The Crossroads
Blues legend, Blind-lemon Donny Rumsfeld, has announced a coast to coast tour supported by his band 'The Invaders'...
Read full storyWotcher Cock? Noo College In London Town
Cor strewth! Would'ja Adam and Eve it squire? For it's just been announced that Mayor and King of London, Ken Livingstone, is setting aside funding for the Capital's first ever cock-en-ee college.
Read full storyBarrymore 'Bank of England' Panto Closes After One Second
The feeble pantomime, Bank of England and the Jolly Interest Rate, written by, produced and starring, discredited Michael Barrymore, has closed after playing for only one second in a motorway service...
Read full storyBlair Seized in Brown 'Haggis' Racist Attack
In scenes more suited to the fictional Big Brother household, Tony Blair, was last night seized by police after staggering out of 10 Downing Street carrying a lager can, wearing a Beckham shirt, and shouting racist abuse at his neighbour, Gordon Brow...
Read full storyEragon or Harry Potter - The Fight Begins
Two of the world's biggest fantasy blockbusters Eragon and the Harry Potter series have been arguing over which of the films is 'better'.
Read full storySuicide rates soar as Japan introduces Hari-Karaoke bars
The latest craze in Japan has been causing concern, as bars have been hosting Hari-Karaoke evenings for depressed Japanese singers.
Read full storyIt's War! - Pakistan launches nuclear strike as Celebrity Big Brother chicken row escalates
International tension accelerated today after Pakistan launched a nuclear attack on the United States of America.
Read full storyBra Humiliation for Boob Job Beckham
Further humiliation for denounced former England soccer star David Beckham, as Real Madrid manager forces him to tuck his new boobies into a bra before training. Rod of iron manager, Fabio Decapito, is sick and tired of Beckham's...
Read full storyBig Brother Is Watching Big Brother
A row erupted in the House of Commons last night, proper big style, over the Big Brother affair and carry on and that.
Read full storyJade gets a brain at last
Jade Goody the ditzy halfwit made famous by stripping naked on Big Brother,has sensationally agreed to be the first person to have a brain implanted after an MRI scan following a recent fall revealed her cranial cavity to be almost completely empty.
Read full storyGallows Prepared For Goody
Big Brother star Jade Goody has in an exclusive interview inside the Big Brother house reveiled she isn't a real racist. It is thought that Goody, 53 has also never lied. The serial 'truth teller' said today, "I'...
Read full storyBig Brother Racist to Play Young Pat Butcher
It's not all bad news for big brother racist Jo O'Meara as she is hotly tipped to play actress Pam St Clements in a musical about her life.
Read full storyChef Jamie Has A Bushy Tail To Tell
Jamie Oliver has announced his latest venture. A chain of high street restaurants selling squirrel meat products.
Read full storySir Monty: My Spectacular Fall From The High Life
It's tough at the top and if you don't believe it just ask Sir Monty Ponty, for one minute you're flying high and the next you're on you arse.
Read full storyTV Update: Judge Rosie Will Replace Judge Judy
Rosie O'Donnell cried "Hogwash!" when she read in The New Testament, "Judge not, that ye be not judged."...
Read full storyMourinho: 'I'll stay if Chelsea supports me'
Mourinho has announced he will happily stay at Stamford Bridge providing he has the support of Chelsea Clinton, daughter of former White House lecher and his often chilly wife, the senator.
Read full storyGandhi will be my inspiration, says Brown
Prime Minister-to-be Brown announced today that the Mahatma would be his role model in the war against terror. "Gandhi had it right!", Brown exclaimed. When asked what this meant , Brown explained: "Why, non-violence , you twit!" According to Bro...
Read full storyGlobal Warming Radicalizes the Menopausal
It was one thing to have your body turn into a thermo-nuclear bomb but when the earth turns against you, enough is enough! These sentiments belong to newly radicalized Francine "Itshotnhere" Rogers. Rogers has spearheaded the newest grassroots movement against global warmimg. "We're not granolas or eco-terrorists...we're your mother and grandmother who has been telling you t...
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