Chef Jamie Has A Bushy Tail To Tell

Written by Duff

Friday, 19 January 2007

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Workers on the hi-tech production line in one of Jamie's squirrel farms

Jamie Oliver has announced his latest venture. A chain of high street restaurants selling squirrel meat products.

The first 'Secret Squirrel' is set to open in London's trendy Soho at the end of the month and an elated Jamie told The Spoof:

"This is a wicked concept and one that I believe is going to revolutionise the fast food market. I have set up a network of squirrel farms at various locations around the country.

We have intensive breeding programmes in place and we have these brilliant machines that bloat the little guys out with water so there appears to be a bit more eating in them. It's totally monster wicked blinding man!"

We understand that the menu will include "The Redneck Sandwich, The Big Bushy and Squirrel Nuts Nuggets.

David Attenborough has spoken to The Spoof and told us:

"I have a new series starting on the BBC and it's all about woodland wildlife. I think there's a little bit about squirrels in one of the shows, about three seconds worth, so naturally I'm against this new venture"

And Bill Oddie commented:

"You should see Kate Humble's tits. They're marvellous and have built a nest in an old flower pot down the garden"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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