Written by Pointer

Friday, 19 January 2007

It was one thing to have your body turn into a thermo-nuclear bomb but when the earth turns against you, enough is enough! These sentiments belong to newly radicalized Francine "Itshotnhere" Rogers. Rogers has spearheaded the newest grassroots movement against global warmimg. "We're not granolas or eco-terrorists...we're your mother and grandmother who has been telling you to lower the thermostat, open the window and put on the AC in the car in December!".

"Now we're telling you to lower the planet's thermostat, keep those planetary windows open and shut off the damn AC in July!". Our Native American chapter, The Red Hot Mamas, are calling for a new respect for the earth and a recognition that Mother Earth has become menopausal.Shirley "Hot Flash" Logan exhorts all:" Mother Earth needs are help! What kind of sons and daughters would ignore the aging process of their beloved mother?"

The now classic "funny leg syndrome " has also manifested itself in earth's "change of life", according to Geologists in Menopause. This organization attributes some recent violent episodes in the subterranean layers of the planet to this phenomenon. "Mother is restless and when she kicks her funny leg funny things happen like tsunamis, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions":"Rocky Rose Magnani, President of the GIM.

Not everyone accepts the planetary menopause theory. Machogeologo , an all-male opposition group claims that the feminization of the earth and its weather and temperature patterns is destroying science. "Everytime the earth gets in a bad mood somebody comes along blaming planetary hormones. Sometimes bitchy geological events are just that ,earth being bitchy. We don't believe in menopause or global warming!": read one of MG's pamphlets.

When Al Gore was asked which of these truths were more inconvenient he said: "All I know is that when earth or Tipper get like this I have learned to be a believer!".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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