Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 19 January 2007

image for Celebrity Big Brother Danielle Signed Up for C4 Show
"Thick Lass, Big Tits" - Sky Plus it now!

One of the villains of the current Celebrity Big Brother, Danielle Lloyd, has been signed up for her own TV show by Channel 4. The show, which has been pencilled-in to start in Spring, will be a mixture of Bitch talk and gossip-type interviews with worthless persons of little renown.

Danielle, 15, a former Miss Merseyside, confessed she was "made up" about the offer.

The busty bimbo has, in the past, said that she liked to be "the bestest at everything" and was recently disappointed when she discovered that her breasts were not the biggest to be displayed in the Big Brother house - that accolade fell to Lea in the last series - but "perked up no end" when told that she was without doubt the Biggest Tit ever to appear on the show.

Lloyd is a close friend of Jade Goody, another BB housemate, and the two are staunch BNP supporters.

"England's f' white people, innit?" Goody has said, "'cept that Jermaine Jackson 'cus 'e's lavly innee?"

To which Lloyd just grinned and giggled in agreement.

The dim-witted Scouser is the ex-girlfriend of former England footballer Eddy Shirtlifter who, once he had witnessed her racist bullying, dropped her like a lead balloon.

"Ain't got no time for no braindead, spineless slappers", he told friends, and threw all her bikinis into a bin bag adding, "She can't even speak English proper eiver".

Producers for the show reckon it will be a hit with Big Brother fans and "anyone else who has absolutely nothing better to do".

"Thick Lass, Big Tits" will be on your screens in March.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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