Exterminator Man catches Super Villain Maggot Pete
The Mayor of UK's crime-ridden metropolis, Cosmic City, applauded the capture earlier today of Super Villain "Maggot Pete".
Read full storyWoman Gives Birth to 33-Year Old Man
Today in Annapolis, Maryland, a shocking medical mystery occured. A woman gave birth to a 33-year old man.
Read full storyThe Secret Poisons Hidden In Your Vitamins
Do you take daily multivitamin supplements to better your health? What about your kids? Well, chances are you and your kids may be intaking the same deadly poisons found in cigarettes.
Read full storyCaddyshack's Bill Murray arrested for allegedly driving, possibly a stolen, golf cart drunk on the way back from a disco in Stockholm
Stockholm, Sweden - Apparently reprising his beloved role as the emotionally challenged greenskeeper, Carl, obsessed with killing a renegade gopher in the original Caddyshack movie, Bill Murray was arrested by Stockholm police in the early morning ho...
Read full storyTony Blair in running for 2012 Olympics
Tony Blair, the much missed lap-dog AND former British Prime Minister announced today that he aimed for a place on the British Tiddlywinks team for the 2012 Olympics.
Read full storyHilton Renames French Hotels: Hilton Paris Now Paris Hilton
Hilton Hotels announced today that it is renaming several of its French hotels as part of its internet marketing strategy. In the most notable change, the Hilton Paris will be renamed the Paris Hilton.
Read full storyAmerica to ban the letter U from the Alphabet
Senators in America have agreed with a 90% majority to remove the letter U from the Alphabet. They said in a statement released to the press...
Read full storySecond frozen body of a WWII pilot found in Kings Canyon National Park; officials suspect foul play
San Francisco, California - A second, in as many years, frozen body of a WWII airman was recovered today in the California High Sierra. It is believed to be the body of a pilot that accompanied the first one that was found in 2005. This recent discov...
Read full story12-year old who threw Molotov cocktail "shouldn't be prosecuted"
Leftie pinko district judge Mr. Giles Elpinko criticised police and the Crown Prosecution Service for prosecuting a 12-year old boy for throwing a Molotov cocktail at his 71-year old neighbour.
Read full storyBattle Of The TV Darling Couples Looks Set To Smash Viewing Figures
Sky Box Office has lined up the TV wrestling match to end them all as on September 3rd at Wembley Stadium, Richard and Judy take on Eamonn Holmes and his missus in a no holds barred tag bout.
Read full storyDr.s' pay still too high
A report out today shows that doctors are being paid more than eve due to a loop hole in their contract. Doctors are being bought private planes by the NHS with DR written on the side, a measure enabled seventeen year ago in order to increase accessi...
Read full storyAishwarya Rai to be honored with 100 rupee postage stamp
Delhi, India - (Ass Mess): Bollywood actress and former Miss World is to feature on a new 100 rupee postage stamp in time for her birthday on November 1st this year.
Read full storyPrime Minister's eyebrow to be shaved
The Prime Ministers eyebrow will be removed by Downing Street's in house barbers tomorrow after it was complained about that it was too revolting to be shown on television.
Read full storyEngland face 3-0 Germany thrashing
Wembley Stadium - (Ass mess): With David Beckham lining up in the squad for tonight's England v Germany exhibition match football pundits are warning of a 3-0 thrashing for the home team amid fears that the Galaxy player "is just plain rubbi...
Read full storyHouseguest dies at Bush Senior's summer retreat
Kennebunkport, Maine - (Ass Mess): "Absolutely nothing suspicious about it!" was the official line taken today as a houseguest at George Bush Senior's summer retreat in Kennebunkport died suddenly after hearing the news that young Jenna...
Read full storyReferees Should Pay Back Society With Lurve
With the new Premiership season only one week old, the controversy surrounding one bad penalty decision has caused financial markets as far away as ASIA to wobble dramatically.
Read full storyDiana Memorial Fund gave £10 million of heroin to asylum seekers
London - (Rotters): The Princess Diana Memorial Fund has spent £10 million of daftass British donors' money on free heroin to rejhected UK asylum seekers according to reports published today.
Read full storyDoherty worms his way back to Moss's bed
London - (OMFG Press): Babyshambles singer and stalwart druggie Peter Doherty has managed to worm his way back to Kate Moss's favors as well as her bed according to cleaning staff employed at the London Hilton Hotel where the pair were spotted ho...
Read full storyIslam Live 8 Concert Plans Announced
A concert purportedly to help raise money for the victims of the crises in Darfur, and Iraq, will be staged in London in October by Muslims.
Read full storyCIA 9/11fiasco: Berger and Tenet destroyed all NATO intelligence
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): A CIA enquiry into the 9/11 disaster has concluded that ex-Agency boss George Tenet and Clinton Administration gofer Sandy Berger were ordered to systematically destroy all NATO military intelligence on the atrocity as ear...
Read full storyBritain To Be Tropical Islet in 20 Years!
London - Today scientists announce a new computer model that shows rising oceans and changing climate, will turn Great Britain into a tropical island. Only in this case it will be more like an "islet", most likely to be renamed Ben Nevis is...
Read full storyBlair To Be Contestant On New Celebrity Big Brother Show
In an amazing turn of events The Spoof can reveal that former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, will be a contestant in the next celebrity big brother show.
Read full storyAmericans Flee to Cuba on Rafts
Key West, Florida (IP) - Our current affairs reporter, Poindexter Finootch, has been in Key West, Florida this week working on this report from the table nearest the door at Sloppy Joe's Bar. Mr. Finootch has discovered that many Americans are l...
Read full storyDeath Star Sighted Near To Earth
Astronomers have spotted a rather curious space oddity in the Earth's so-called 'space neighbourhood' - a dead star with unusual characteristics.
Read full storyEighty Year Old Bert Set For Stardom
Veteran music hall turn, Bert Tompkins, is set to make an amazing comeback more than 45 years since he last trod the boards.
Read full storyThud Thud Thud! Lemmy's A Record Breaker
Hell-raising bassist and Motorhead front man, Lemmy, is today recovering from his world record breaking attempt for the longest bass solo ever.
Read full storyNews Is Much Worse Since TV Presenters Stand Up
Startling research shows that since major networks have been delivering the TV news with presenters standing up, things have become significantly worse.
Read full storyU.S. Congress Stuns Nation - By Actually Doing Something
(Washington) - U.S. taxpayers and voters across the land were stunned today when their elected representives in Washington actually passed legislation, legislation which even reflected the needs of the American people.
Read full storyElvis Presley's stolen handgun recovered; Memphis motels report TVs vandalized
Memphis, Tennessee - A handgun belonging to Elvis was returned today. It was stolen last week from the Memphis Museum during the weeklong celebration commemorating the 30-year anniversary of Elvis's death. Finger prints raised off the gun have au...
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