Funny story: Williamson-Bashing Reveals Neocon Core of Not-So-Sweet "News" Source The Onion

Williamson-Bashing Reveals Neocon Core of Not-So-Sweet "News" Source The Onion

In a reactionary swing toward neoconservativism, satirical "news" outlet The Onion mocked the positivity of  Democratic presidential vier Marianne Williamson, revealing that that beneath its chuckle-ready foreskin, The Onion may not be so sweet. "...

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Funny story: United States to Annex State of Anxiety

United States to Annex State of Anxiety

Not to be deterred by his failed bid to purchase Greenland, United States President, Donald Trump, recently announced that the nation will be annexing the 51st state - specifically, the state of Anxiety. "Rich in natural resources like indigenous...

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Funny story: SNP Daewoo Deepfry

SNP Daewoo Deepfry

Initial Impressions The deepfry is actually a solid and reliable vehicle despite its rather poor history. It does still sadly have a tendency to only go in one direction, and to break down when put under pressure. As usual, it is badly let down by...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Meets Barbara Windsor About Dementia, But There Is Confusion Over Which Of The Two Has Been More Severely Affected

Boris Johnson Meets Barbara Windsor About Dementia, But There Is Confusion Over Which Of The Two Has Been More Severely Affected

Prime Minister, Boris Johnson took time off from driving the country nearer to destruction this afternoon, when he met with former EastEnders actress, Barbara Windsor, for a discussion on dementia. Introductions went well, but, during the meeting,...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson is the unpopular friend with a car

Boris Johnson is the unpopular friend with a car

It has been revealed, to us, exclusively that Boris Johnson has only got to where he is in politics because he is the only one with a van big enough to take the piano and the drum-kit. The news reaches us that in trying to avert the country's atte...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt

Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt

In an extraordinary impromptu press conference held outside 10 Downing Street just minutes ago, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has said that he doesn't want a snap General Election, Britain will leave the EU on 31 October, and that, without any shadow...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Pisses Himself Under Questioning From Children

Boris Johnson Pisses Himself Under Questioning From Children

Prime Minister Boris Johnson came through another heated question-and-answer session this afternoon, as he faced a barrage of enquiries from a group of schoolchildren on his proposals to inject £14billion into education over the next three years.

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Funny story: October General Election May Be Monster Raving Loony Party's Big Chance

October General Election May Be Monster Raving Loony Party's Big Chance

The political shenanigans being played by Prime Minister Boris Johnson, and the furore surrounding them which has led to some analysts to suggest an October General Election might be on the cards, could well benefit one party that has, until now, pro...

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Funny story: New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...

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Funny story: Even More Breaking News Than Yesterday

Even More Breaking News Than Yesterday

THE WIRED STREET URINAL Reporter: KR Schwartz August 30th 2019 This morning, Scotland’s first Minister Nicola Sturgeon announced the unprecedented action of nationalizing U.S. President Donald Trump's two golf courses in Scotland, Aberdeen &...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson 'Victory' Is Really Just A Vote Of 'No Confidence' In Other Tories

Boris Johnson 'Victory' Is Really Just A Vote Of 'No Confidence' In Other Tories

Boris Johnson, the rebellious, rambunctious renegade who has become Conservative Party leader, and UK prime minister as a result, fully believes in his ability to resolve the countries woes, and get it back on its feet again. But is he the only on...

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Funny story: U.S. Border Policy Rebranded as Trumpcare

U.S. Border Policy Rebranded as Trumpcare

Not to be outdone by former president Barack Obama's signature healthcare plan commonly known as Obamacare, United States president Donald Trump has rebranded his self-initiated border policy of imposing criminal penalties for unauthorized border cro...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Has Got Crabs

Boris Johnson Has Got Crabs

British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, looked decidedly uncomfortable at the end of the G7 conference in Biarritz yesterday, as he scratched furiously at his crotch area, in what experts say was a determined effort to battle a colony of crabs that ha...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Suspends Parliament In 'Clamping' Exercise

Boris Johnson Suspends Parliament In 'Clamping' Exercise

With just over two months to go before the October 31 deadline, when Britain will walk away from the EU, most likely on a 'no-deal' basis, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has thrown a giant spanner into the works of government, by deciding to suspend pa...

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Funny story: Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers

Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers

Deliveroo is the fast-food delivery service that you either love or hate. You love Deliveroo if you're a lazy bastard who can't be arsed to get out of bed in the morning to cook breakfast, or pour milk on your corn flakes. You love Deliveroo if y...

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Funny story: Eurotrash Returns To Screens In Bid To Reverse Brexit Vote

Eurotrash Returns To Screens In Bid To Reverse Brexit Vote

In what is being seen as a last-ditch attempt to usurp democracy, and deny the voting public its victory at the polls, the government has ordered TV reruns of the 1990s show 'Eurotrash', in a bid to change people's minds about Europe. Hosted by th...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson's Dad Astounded That His 'Daft Lad' Son Has Become Prime Minister

Boris Johnson's Dad Astounded That His 'Daft Lad' Son Has Become Prime Minister

Stanley Johnson, the father of new British prime minister, Boris Johnson, has revealed how he can't quite believe that his "wayward, soft-arse son" has made it all the way to the top of the pile, and is now about to assume control of the country.

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Funny story: President Trump Falls Asleep During His Own Speech

President Trump Falls Asleep During His Own Speech

Former vice-presidents Joe Biden and Dick Cheney, former Speaker of the House of Representatives, Newt Gingrich, and the Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Clarence Thomas have all had trouble in the past staying awake during meetings, an...

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Funny story: Angela Merkel's Head Melts

Angela Merkel's Head Melts

There was drama in Germany today, during some abnormally hot weather, when Chancellor Angela Merkel was taken to hospital when her head melted. Merkel, 64, was standing next to Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky in Berlin, listening to the two c...

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Funny story: US Expands Powers To Execute Illegal Migrants Without Trial

US Expands Powers To Execute Illegal Migrants Without Trial

In a move which even Franz Kafka would have had trouble making sense of, US legislators have today passed a law to ease the lengthy deportation process involving illegal migrants, dispensed with immigration hearings, and given the green light to summ...

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