Politics Spoof News

18 August 2019

Harry Maguire To Clear Up Brexit Mess

Harry Maguire, Manchester United's new central defender who signed for the Reds from Leicester City on Monday for £80million, is to enter the world of politics. His first job will be to clear up the Brexit mess. Maguire has no political affilia...

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Boris Johnson 'Victory' Is Really Just A Vote Of 'No Confidence' In Other Tories

Boris Johnson, the rebellious, rambunctious renegade who has become Conservative Party leader, and UK prime minister as a result, fully believes in his ability to resolve the countries woes, and get it back on its feet again. But is he the only on...

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Emergency COBRA Meeting at Downing Street as US Ambassador Says Johnson-Trump Relationship Will Be 'Sensational'

Panicked Downing Street sycophants and lickspittles were said to be running around in circles this morning, as America's ambassador to the UK said relations between the UK and the US are going to be "sensational" now that Boris Johnson is nominally i...

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Anti-Boris Johnson Mob Dispersed By Army

London: Army personnel have been drafted in to disperse protesters angry at the appointment of Boris Johnson to the head of the Conservative Party, and, as a consequence, to the position of British prime minister. The protesters, who had come with...

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Boris Johnson's Dad Astounded That His 'Daft Lad' Son Has Become Prime Minister

Stanley Johnson, the father of new British prime minister, Boris Johnson, has revealed how he can't quite believe that his "wayward, soft-arse son" has made it all the way to the top of the pile, and is now about to assume control of the country.

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Boris Johnson's Prime Ministerial Acceptance Speech Leaked to The Spoof

The Spoof has been given sight of the speech which prime minister-elect Boris Johnson is expected to make on the steps of 10 Downing Street after he has met the Queen on Tuesday. Harking back to the message which his heroine Margaret Thatcher gave to...

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Trump Tweets that Unhappy Native Americans Should Go Back to Where They Came From

1924 Volvo BlueRinse - A Return of an old favourite

Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister

Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend

President Trump And Sadiq Khan To Have A Duel

Democratic Voters Impressed with Candidates' Dislike of Trump and Opposition to Climate Change

Politics as a Car Review

New York and the Truth About the Mueller Report. “It’s Up To YOU New York…”

Donald Trump Makes The Queen Sick

Angela Merkel's Head Melts

Kanye West To Leave US

We had no idea Congressman who wore Blackface to Congressional Halloween party was a racist, say Republicans.

New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...

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Boris Johnson To Officially Designate Britain As The 51st State Of The USA

New Conservative Party leader, Boris Johnson, has spoken to the press after his victory over rival, Jeremy Hunt, was confirmed, and said that his first task was to officially designate Great Britain as the 51st state of the USA. In America, Presid...

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New PM Boris Johnson Succeeds in Bringing Unity to the Country

Charlatan. Liar. Narcissist. Unfit. Shambolic. Ramshackle. Incompetent. Arsehole. These are a few of the kinder epithets which have been thrown at Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson over the years, yet, somehow, today he finds himself ensconced b...

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Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers

Deliveroo is the fast-food delivery service that you either love or hate. You love Deliveroo if you're a lazy bastard who can't be arsed to get out of bed in the morning to cook breakfast, or pour milk on your corn flakes. You love Deliveroo if y...

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Conservative Party Leadership Battle Ends In Tie

The race to become the next leader of the Conservative Party is over, with the most dramatic result possible: after the 160,000 party members' votes were counted last night, it was announced just minutes ago, that the scores had finished level, with...

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President Trump Falls Asleep During His Own Speech

Former vice-presidents Joe Biden and Dick Cheney, former Speaker of the House of Representatives, Newt Gingrich, and the Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Clarence Thomas have all had trouble in the past staying awake during meetings, an...

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Labour Party comes down hard on alleged AntiJeremysm

In an unexpected development, the UK Layabout Party declared that it will do its upmost to eradicate the scourge of AntiJeremysm that is sweeping the party. From now on, it will be a capital offence, er, sorry, a CAPITAL OFFENCE, to describe Comra...

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Tory Leadership Contest: Has Jeremy Hunt Won?

In an inexplicable 180-degree about-turn of gargantuan proportions, it's beginning to look like Jeremy Hunt has beaten Boris Johnson to the Tory leadership crown, because the BBC keeps posting pictures of the pair with Hunt always on the left-hand si...

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Jo Brand Rejects 'Battery Acid' Criticism

Comedienne, Jo Brand, has rejected criticism of a joke she made about battery acid, by asserting that she drinks a glass of it every morning for breakfast, and it's never done her any harm. Brand was appearing on BBC Radio 4's 'Heresy' show hosted...

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US Expands Powers To Execute Illegal Migrants Without Trial

In a move which even Franz Kafka would have had trouble making sense of, US legislators have today passed a law to ease the lengthy deportation process involving illegal migrants, dispensed with immigration hearings, and given the green light to summ...

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Eurotrash Returns To Screens In Bid To Reverse Brexit Vote

In what is being seen as a last-ditch attempt to usurp democracy, and deny the voting public its victory at the polls, the government has ordered TV reruns of the 1990s show 'Eurotrash', in a bid to change people's minds about Europe. Hosted by th...

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Racist TV Shows To Make Comeback Under Boris Johnson

As the Conservative Party leadership race starts to get on your tits, sources inside the party have said that, should Boris Johnson be successful, TV viewers can look forward to a whole swathe of racist and homophobic shows that had been, hitherto, s...

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President Plum calls for resignation of congresswoman over anti-Cyania remarks

President Plum of Purpalon is expressing shock and outrage after discovering the social media comments of a congresswoman who dared to question his motives for helping the Bluish people. According to President Plum, "We should all work to eliminat...

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Vladimir Putin Disables Theresa May With Handshake And A Kiss

There was real drama on an international scale on Friday night, as Russian president, Vladimir Putin, immobilized British outgoing prime minister, Theresa May, with his infamous 'Silesian handshake'. The two were meeting for the first time in year...

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