President Trump Has Noticed A Similarity Between The Words 'Panic' And 'Pandemic'
It's been reported from the White House in the last few minutes, that President Donald Trump has become aware of a distinct similarity between two very popular words in circulation at the moment - 'panic' and 'pandemic'. According to reliable sour...
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Demi Lovato To Pay For 10,000 Trump Campaign Buttons
LOS ANGELES – Well, once again it’s a presidential campaign year, and, this year, popular pop star, Demi Lovato, who claims to be related to French actress Brigitte Bardot and wrestling legend Bill Goldberg, is jumping into the fray with both feet.
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Iran And Iraq Travel Advice Update
The killing of so-called terrorist leader, Qasem Soleimani, by US forces earlier this week has drawn stern warnings of revenge from Iran, and the British Foreign Office has issued new travel advice for Britons intending to travel to the area, and, in...
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Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers
Deliveroo is the fast-food delivery service that you either love or hate. You love Deliveroo if you're a lazy bastard who can't be arsed to get out of bed in the morning to cook breakfast, or pour milk on your corn flakes. You love Deliveroo if y...
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New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons
Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...
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Celebrating 9/11 (an excerpt from Trump's Unauthorized Autobiography)
Celebrating 9/11 I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big. Donald Trump Now available on Amazon 9/11 was probably the best day of my life. Well, I mean, like, maybe one of the best days of life.
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Council meets to discuss the possibility of a meeting to discuss the number of meetings they have
Queen Demands The Head Of Boris Johnson
Jeremy Corbyn Underestimated The Sheer Stupidity Of The Public
Boris Johnson is the unpopular friend with a car
Lempit Opik to give Donald Trump careers advice
Boris Johnson Has Got Crabs
Theresa May Found Crouching Under Scottish Bridge
Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader
Vladimir Putin Disables Theresa May With Handshake And A Kiss
Sajid Javid May Have Stolen One Million 50p Brexit Coins
Trump Denies Rumors that He's Been Impeached
Donald Trump Impeachment Hearing Latest
Trump Threatens China With Wall
President Donald Trump isn't one to shy away from a contentious issue, and his tariff war with China has now reached the stage where he feels it is necessary to put his stamp of authority on the situation. Trump has now threatened Beijing that, if...
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Hong Kong: Carrie Lam Calls In Hong Kong Phooey
The crisis in Hong Kong deepened still further today as the island's leader, Carrie Lam, having been forced to abandon her policy address when members of parliament disrupted her speech and drowned out her voice with heckling, took the most drastic a...
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Polls Show Some Americans May Bother Voting for President
In a wave of optimism sweeping the nation, some Americans report that they may actually bother voting in the 2020 presidential election. "It's too soon to tell, but I may see if I can free up some time in my schedule," said Kate Truman of New York...
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Sarah Palin's Face To Be Carved Into Mount Rushmore
America was stunned yesterday when the Tea Party members in Congress passed a bill that would make Sarah Palin's likeness the next to be carved into Mount Rushmore, allowing the former Vice-Presidential candidate to be forever immortalized on the Sou...
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South Carolina Woman Wowed by Trump Rally
Carrie Richie came away "amazed and inspired" from United States President Donald Trump’s recent campaign rally in North Charleston, South Carolina. “Think what you like about Trump, his energy was incredible,” said Richie, whose 17-year-old son,...
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Jigsaw Puzzle Sales Leap Due To Trump Impeachment Trial
According to claims made by toy stores across the US, the impeachment trial of President Donald Trump, is thought to have been at least partly responsible for a huge increase in sales of jigsaw puzzles. Toy stores all over the country have reporte...
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Man Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit
A man was recovering in hospital this morning having spent a night under observation, after becoming ill when he got just a little too close to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who was making a speech on his campaign trail. David Syclops, from Hunsl...
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Tories Wreck EastEnders Christmas Show Script After Surprise Election Result
BBC bosses are, this morning, running around in a frenzy, after the surprise General Election result left the producers of the channel's miserable soap drama, 'EastEnders', caught them off-guard, and ruined the Christmas Special show, which hinged on...
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Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive"
Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive" during a mince pie summit at Downing Street yesterday. Whilst eating mince pies and drinking egg nog yesterday, Union leaders told the Prime Minister that, indeed - cuts in c...
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Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt
In an extraordinary impromptu press conference held outside 10 Downing Street just minutes ago, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has said that he doesn't want a snap General Election, Britain will leave the EU on 31 October, and that, without any shadow...
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Brian Clough Has Risen From The Dead
The former Derby County and Nottingham Forest manager, Brian Clough, who many in those areas held to be immortal, died in 20, but may have gone beyond the realms of mere mortals and come back to life - as the Secretary of State for Wales, Simon Hart.
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Trump And God Agree To Disagree
Supreme Being and Ruler of the Universe, Donald Trump, met its creator, God, this morning in a lively round of discussions on current events, but, as neither was prepared to give ground on key issues, a stalemate was declared, and they adjourned the...
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BBC's Great British Menu in Hot Water Over Controversial NHS Menu
One of the BBC's longest running and much loved cookery shows 'Great British Menu' - has been plunged like a pus-covered scalpel - into hot water. The theme of this year's competition, Seventy Years of the NHS has challenged twenty four of the UK's...
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Islamic Sharia Law Would Make Luton England's Capital
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Trump Doubts Existence of Black Hole
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Daenerys Targaryen to announce bid for Tory Leadership
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Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister
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President Trump In Office Through At Least 2056?
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President Trump Wears Blackface For Press Conference
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President Trump May Have Been Given Blow Job By Anne Sacoolas
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Boris Johnson Offers To Buy Round At Last-Chance Saloon
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President Trump Impeachment Trial Has Really Caught The Attention Of The American Public
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Nancy Pelosi arrested for criminal damage
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Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed
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President Trump Concedes Defeat Over Shutdown
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Trump Sparks Diplomatic Incident After Sumo Challenge
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Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend
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Boris Johnson 'Victory' Is Really Just A Vote Of 'No Confidence' In Other Tories
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Harry Maguire To Be Britain's Next Prime Minister?
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Jacob Rees-Mogg Urged To "Jump" By Huge Crowd
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Nigel Farage Pledges Brexit Party Will Return Britain To Its Former Glories
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Man Didn't Vote In Election
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Political Apathy Reclassified as 'Positive Thinking'
