Funny story: President Trump Has Noticed A Similarity Between The Words 'Panic' And 'Pandemic'

President Trump Has Noticed A Similarity Between The Words 'Panic' And 'Pandemic'

It's been reported from the White House in the last few minutes, that President Donald Trump has become aware of a distinct similarity between two very popular words in circulation at the moment - 'panic' and 'pandemic'. According to reliable sour...

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Funny story: Demi Lovato To Pay For 10,000 Trump Campaign Buttons

Demi Lovato To Pay For 10,000 Trump Campaign Buttons

LOS ANGELES – Well, once again it’s a presidential campaign year, and, this year, popular pop star, Demi Lovato, who claims to be related to French actress Brigitte Bardot and wrestling legend Bill Goldberg, is jumping into the fray with both feet.

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Funny story: Iran And Iraq Travel Advice Update

Iran And Iraq Travel Advice Update

The killing of so-called terrorist leader, Qasem Soleimani, by US forces earlier this week has drawn stern warnings of revenge from Iran, and the British Foreign Office has issued new travel advice for Britons intending to travel to the area, and, in...

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Funny story: Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers

Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers

Deliveroo is the fast-food delivery service that you either love or hate. You love Deliveroo if you're a lazy bastard who can't be arsed to get out of bed in the morning to cook breakfast, or pour milk on your corn flakes. You love Deliveroo if y...

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Funny story: New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...

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Funny story: Celebrating 9/11 (an excerpt from Trump's Unauthorized Autobiography)

Celebrating 9/11 (an excerpt from Trump's Unauthorized Autobiography)

Celebrating 9/11 I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big. Donald Trump Now available on Amazon 9/11 was probably the best day of my life. Well, I mean, like, maybe one of the best days of life.

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Funny story: Trump Threatens China With Wall

Trump Threatens China With Wall

President Donald Trump isn't one to shy away from a contentious issue, and his tariff war with China has now reached the stage where he feels it is necessary to put his stamp of authority on the situation. Trump has now threatened Beijing that, if...

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Funny story: Hong Kong: Carrie Lam Calls In Hong Kong Phooey

Hong Kong: Carrie Lam Calls In Hong Kong Phooey

The crisis in Hong Kong deepened still further today as the island's leader, Carrie Lam, having been forced to abandon her policy address when members of parliament disrupted her speech and drowned out her voice with heckling, took the most drastic a...

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Funny story: Polls Show Some Americans May Bother Voting for President

Polls Show Some Americans May Bother Voting for President

In a wave of optimism sweeping the nation, some Americans report that they may actually bother voting in the 2020 presidential election. "It's too soon to tell, but I may see if I can free up some time in my schedule," said Kate Truman of New York...

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Funny story: Sarah Palin's Face To Be Carved Into Mount Rushmore

Sarah Palin's Face To Be Carved Into Mount Rushmore

America was stunned yesterday when the Tea Party members in Congress passed a bill that would make Sarah Palin's likeness the next to be carved into Mount Rushmore, allowing the former Vice-Presidential candidate to be forever immortalized on the Sou...

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Funny story: South Carolina Woman Wowed by Trump Rally

South Carolina Woman Wowed by Trump Rally

Carrie Richie came away "amazed and inspired" from United States President Donald Trump’s recent campaign rally in North Charleston, South Carolina. “Think what you like about Trump, his energy was incredible,” said Richie, whose 17-year-old son,...

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Funny story: Jigsaw Puzzle Sales Leap Due To Trump Impeachment Trial

Jigsaw Puzzle Sales Leap Due To Trump Impeachment Trial

According to claims made by toy stores across the US, the impeachment trial of President Donald Trump, is thought to have been at least partly responsible for a huge increase in sales of jigsaw puzzles. Toy stores all over the country have reporte...

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Funny story: Man Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit

Man Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit

A man was recovering in hospital this morning having spent a night under observation, after becoming ill when he got just a little too close to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who was making a speech on his campaign trail. David Syclops, from Hunsl...

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Funny story: Trump: The NHS Is Safe

Trump: The NHS Is Safe

If you’re wondering why a chill has just ran down the backs of all the female members of your family, wonder no more! Dementia-ridden reality TV star turned president, Donald Trump, is in the UK! As usual Donald has had plenty to shout about as he ma...

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Funny story: Tories Wreck EastEnders Christmas Show Script After Surprise Election Result

Tories Wreck EastEnders Christmas Show Script After Surprise Election Result

BBC bosses are, this morning, running around in a frenzy, after the surprise General Election result left the producers of the channel's miserable soap drama, 'EastEnders', caught them off-guard, and ruined the Christmas Special show, which hinged on...

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Funny story: Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive"

Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive"

Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive" during a mince pie summit at Downing Street yesterday. Whilst eating mince pies and drinking egg nog yesterday, Union leaders told the Prime Minister that, indeed - cuts in c...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt

Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt

In an extraordinary impromptu press conference held outside 10 Downing Street just minutes ago, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has said that he doesn't want a snap General Election, Britain will leave the EU on 31 October, and that, without any shadow...

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Funny story: Brian Clough Has Risen From The Dead

Brian Clough Has Risen From The Dead

The former Derby County and Nottingham Forest manager, Brian Clough, who many in those areas held to be immortal, died in 20, but may have gone beyond the realms of mere mortals and come back to life - as the Secretary of State for Wales, Simon Hart.

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Funny story: Trump And God Agree To Disagree

Trump And God Agree To Disagree

Supreme Being and Ruler of the Universe, Donald Trump, met its creator, God, this morning in a lively round of discussions on current events, but, as neither was prepared to give ground on key issues, a stalemate was declared, and they adjourned the...

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Funny story: BBC's Great British Menu in Hot Water Over Controversial NHS Menu

BBC's Great British Menu in Hot Water Over Controversial NHS Menu

One of the BBC's longest running and much loved cookery shows 'Great British Menu' - has been plunged like a pus-covered scalpel - into hot water. The theme of this year's competition, Seventy Years of the NHS has challenged twenty four of the UK's...

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