“Where’s Nancy?”

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 30 October 2022

image for “Where’s Nancy?”
Where’s Nancy?

BILLINGSGATE POST: Only if there were a horse involved, could this story smell more like horse manure. Check this out.

It’s 2:30 AM in San Fransicko. Two grown men, both wearing Fruit-of-the-Loom ball huggers, fighting with a hammer, when someone - perhaps like Jack Nicholson from The Shining - reportedly yells, “Where’s Nancy?”

Paul Poozleosi, the stay-at-home husband of the most powerful woman in the USA, had secretly sent a message to the cops with his iPhone that something was amiss in his home. Someone had broken into his house backwards. Pictures of the scene showed broken glass on the outside patio, indicating that the glass was following the Laws of Physics by dispersing directly in line with the force of the object striking it.

Who would have thunk?

The cops come, disentangle the two men, arresting one of The-Fruit-of-the-Loomers who seemed to have the upper hand in the conflict.

In a town famous for its foggy atmospheric conditions, it’s natural that some obfuscation of the facts might occur. Questions arise. Among them:

It’s chilly in San Fransicko at 2:30 AM. Did the alleged perpetrator travel all the way from across the bay in his skivvies?

San Fransicko is not a safe city. It’s difficult to imagine that the Poozleosi’s didn’t have a sophisticated alarm system set up to warn of a possible intruder, especially in light of Nancy’s position in Washington. Sounds like an inside job.

Can’t imagine why this guy would ask where Nancy was. The last thing he would want is to face her.

It was also reported that a third party opened the door for the police. WTF is going on?

Could it be that the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were involved? Founded in San Fransicko by Sister Vicious Power Hungry Bitch in 1979, this pseudo-religious order dresses in second-hand habits (once the property of a Roman Catholic convent in Iowa), and mocks all that religious people hold sacred. Perhaps it was a power struggle between Sister Vicious Power Hungry Bitch and the Speaker of the House, and it was she who asked, “Where’s Nancy?”

Dr. Slim: “Unfortunately, this is beyond my pay grade.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Let the professionals handle this case.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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