Funny story: Pro-Cannabis MP Forgets To Attend Legalisation Debate

Pro-Cannabis MP Forgets To Attend Legalisation Debate

A Liberal Democrat MP was heavily criticised by party rank and file yesterday after failing to attend the first reading of his own private member's bill in which he calls for the legalisation of cannabis in certain exceptional cases. Called upon...

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Funny story: The Plots of Dominic Cummings

The Plots of Dominic Cummings

In a basement in Downing Street, Dominic Cummings sits at a desk swigging from a bottle of wine and smoking a cigarette. He is on the phone. "What's that? Shagger lost another vote? Fahkin' hell! "Sack the lot o' them! Shit, we need to get into...

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Funny story: Parliament Seizes Control of Michael Caine

Parliament Seizes Control of Michael Caine

In an unprecedented move, Parliament last night voted to take control of veteran British actor, Michael Caine, and has now occupied his swish home in Beverly Hills. Caine, 108, told newsmen last night: “I got up this morning and went downstairs to...

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Funny story: New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...

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Funny story: King Boris Dismisses Parliament

King Boris Dismisses Parliament

New UK PM, Boris Johnson, has asked Parliament to dissolve, calling it "undemocratic and inconvenient". Instead he will rule as a new monarch, having also dissolved Queen Elizabeth II in a vat of acid. From now on, the PM will be known as King Bo...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Suspends Parliament In 'Clamping' Exercise

Boris Johnson Suspends Parliament In 'Clamping' Exercise

With just over two months to go before the October 31 deadline, when Britain will walk away from the EU, most likely on a 'no-deal' basis, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has thrown a giant spanner into the works of government, by deciding to suspend pa...

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Funny story: Court Rules Parliament To Be Closed For Forty Years

Court Rules Parliament To Be Closed For Forty Years

After hearing cases for and against prorogation of the British Parliament, the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom has now ruled that Parliament be adjourned for the next forty years. The upcoming session is to commence on 1 April 2059. MPs were some...

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Funny story: MPs play charades

MPs play charades

During a break in a recent Brexit meeting, members of the cabinet and leading Brexiteers were recorded playing a game of the popular parlour game Charades. The transcript of the recording is as follows: David Davis: Is it a film? Theresa May: It'...

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Funny story: Damian McBride signs for "Fake News" Website

Damian McBride signs for "Fake News" Website

Infamous former advisor to the British Prime Minister, Damian McBride has allegedly signed a high paid contract with an unnamed fake news website. The credentials of Mr McBride are undeniable given his recent phenomenal work in "spoofing" members...

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Funny story: Wee Jock Poo Pong McPlop In It

Wee Jock Poo Pong McPlop In It

The man who used to clean the toilets at Aberdeen station, Wee Jock Poo Pong Mcplop is in it up to his eyeballs. He is the joker responsible for the cost overruns involved in the building of the Scottish Parliament at Holyrood. Great shame too what w...

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Funny story: Alastair Campbell in Shock Return to Downing Street

Alastair Campbell in Shock Return to Downing Street

Prime Minister David Cameron emerged blinking from his Downing Street bunker today accompanied by a scowling chancellor George Osborne and a smirking Alastair Campbell, Tony Blair's former press secretary. He announced that Mr. Campbell would be res...

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Funny story: Guy Fawkes arrested in rat-infested catacombs of Parliament

Guy Fawkes arrested in rat-infested catacombs of Parliament

After failing to blow up parliament on November 5th, another attempt to cause anarchy in the Houses of Parliament has been thwarted today! Guy Fawkes was spotted entering a portcullis below water level in the Thames normally used to ship governmen...

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Funny story: UK Politician's Suitable Anagrams - 2011

UK Politician's Suitable Anagrams - 2011

We present to you, anagrams of some of the crooks... I mean MP's of this wonderfully riot torn, nepotistic, and crumbling Nation. You will find some members of the Conservative Party (Anag: Vast carnivore type), New Labour Party (Anag: An we bar poultry), and the Liberal-Democrat Party (Anag: Cry bedlam Proletariat) David Cameron: Prime Minister (Tory-Coalition) 'Odd, I crave man' Nicola...

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Funny story: Quentin Kelp MP - Greek Philosophy, Tax and Haemorrhoids

Quentin Kelp MP - Greek Philosophy, Tax and Haemorrhoids

Dear Constituents I have had such a hectic week and am now well behind with my newsletters. You might have thought I had already forgotten about you what with the summer recess and the sun shining but this is far from the truth. The sun will continue to shine ever brightly through my regular Newsletter. I'm off to Greece in a week or so, on a fact-finding visit. It's also so that I can...

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Funny story: Ice-cream manufacturer produces new flavours to honour MPs

Ice-cream manufacturer produces new flavours to honour MPs

Ice-cream manufacturer Godfrey Sice's company, are producing new flavours and names of ice-cream concoctions, in honour of individual MP's and Political Parties performances in the Government, and opposition. Here is the full list to be available soon: Flavour/Name: Credit Crunch In Honour of: George Osborne Flavour/Name: Nut'n Accomplished In Honour of: Nick Clegg Flavour/Name: Sile...

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Funny story: Oliver Letwin, the phantom rubbish bin thrower of olde London Town...

Oliver Letwin, the phantom rubbish bin thrower of olde London Town...

Westminster, LONDON: For years, Oliver Letwin, the Conservative MP has been hiding a secret. Many have known about it, but have not been able to disclose the details. Some have tried, but these details have been binned in public parks all over Lon...

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Funny story: What is true coalition government?

What is true coalition government?

In current times, political parties and other pressure groups are more concerned with obtaining power, holding on to that power at all costs and protecting their own vested interests. They are less concerned with serving the very people who elected them and handed them that power. Add to this, the influence of big business and the flow of targeted donations into the coffers of the political par...

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Funny story: Daughter of British Indian man missing

Daughter of British Indian man missing

In a completely coincidental, unfortunate turn of events, a missing British Indian boy has been found safe and well in India at an uncle's house (named locally as Jeera) watching slumdog millionaire and eating chicken tikka masala and a peshwari naan...

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Funny story: Unexploded WWII Bomb Found Under Houses Of Parliament

Unexploded WWII Bomb Found Under Houses Of Parliament

Army bomb disposal units were called out to an address in Westminster last night, after an enormous unexploded World War II bomb was discovered at the Houses of Parliament. The bomb, estimated to be a 1,000ib device, is thought to have been fitted...

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Funny story: InfoDepth: Tory's Big Society

InfoDepth: Tory's Big Society

The Conservative-Liberal Democrats coalition in power in the United Kingdom have announced to push on with the cultural directive known as Big Society. Many are mystified. However, Inhopeless Media Group have this handy InfoDepth for you. Big Society will include: - An increase in the average mass of UK-born babies by 250% from 0.75kg to 1.9kg - Everyone to volunteer to do the government'...

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