“Yes, I must admit I did it that” confessed Sir Kim Darroch, former HMG ambassador to the United States court of King Trump in an exclusive interview with political editor for The Spoof, Paxton Quigley.
“So you actually told future prime minister, Boris Johnson, to fuck off?”
“Absolutely, I had nothing to lose, as I had already resigned when the obsequious creep cravenly called me saying how much he valued my service. That spineless idiot couldn’t even say that he supported me live on air in front of millions of TV viewers. He wants to be Tory leader and take us through this Brexit fiasco which he has created. You need balls for that, and, as far as I can see, not only is he an incompetent lying narcissistic blow hard fantasist, he doesn’t have any, and that’s quite clear.
“Of course, you know that the current PM Theresa Maybot appointed him as Foreign Secretary to expose him as the incompetent buffoon which he will always be, and he did a good job of that, going around the world making us into a laughing stock, particularly with the EU. The day he resigned, we broke out the champagne in the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. We thought he was a goner.
“I still can’t believe that these Tory dunderheads think that simpleton can unite the country, save the union and extricate us from the EU with little or no damage. Fucking hell, as we say in the diplomatic service.”