He Has Risen: Pillsbury Doughboy, The New Messiah
Minneapolis (Bakers Daily News)-Spread the good news! Spread the butter! Spread the margarine! He gave his life to save the world of its breakfast sins! And today he is risen, to sit at the right hand of the eggs and morning...Read full story
Jesus' Sandals Found in Iraq Desert
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Iraq - In Iraq this morning, fighting had broken out in the desert. The fighting was fierce at first, but soon died down when everyone ran out of ammo.Read full story
Did Jesus Wear Socks and Sandals, or Did He Paint His Toenails?
It's the ultimate fashion faux pas, of course, but did the Lamb of God wear socks with his sandals? Was that part of the reason that Pontius Pilate agreed to crucify our saviour? What do you think? It's possible, as Nazareth's average January temper...Read full story
Face of Christ on a Sheeps Backside
Ballygobackwards Co Clare. - The sleepy village of Ballygobackwards woke this morning to the glare of the media. Television crews and journalists descended on the little Irish village. The reason for all this attention was the reported vision of C...Read full story
Bible Stories Explained: The Feeding Of The 5,000
The Bible is an interesting book. Many people have read it, all over the world. But, as well as being interesting and widely-read, it can also be a difficult read, and much of its content often needs much further explanation before one can understand...Read full story
Jesus to Replace Seinfeld in Superman Ad Campaign
UP--In an announcement earlier today, American Express revealed that after creative differences with current spokesperson Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian would be replaced in the current Superman advertising campaign. The company then shocked everyone b...Read full story
Struggling Catholic Church Lays Off Holy Spirit
In the wake of continuing revelations regarding sexual abuse by priests and growing antipathy toward its pro-life/anti-choice stance on abortion, the struggling Catholic Church, unable to sustain a full staff, has laid off the Holy Spirit, long consi...Read full story
Christine O'Donnell To Lead Anti-masturbation Effort Under President Trump
Appearing together at a campaign rally in South Dakota, Christine O'Donnell and Donald Trump announced their futuristic vision to stop masturbation before it ever happens with a new government agency: The Department Of Pre-jack. After they unveiled t...Read full story
Da Vinci's Last Supper conspiracy theory: is woman holding a condom?
Sistine Chapel, Rome - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Shocking new internet claims about Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper allegedly contain hidden images of a woman holding a condom and pleading with Jesus.Read full story
Jesus' Fingerprint Found on Tombstone
The fingerprint of a person called Jesus Nazareth has been found on an ancient stone in Rome.Read full story
Naked Spears Mum as Rabbi Reverses Mormon Baptism of Dead Jews
WASHINGTON, DC -- Rabbi Jacob Baer stood before his congregation at Temple Sinai on Military Road yesterday morning, poised to perform a ritual that he had perfected just hours before. On a long table before him were a silver bowl, a small dark blue...Read full story
Pastors Say Jimmy Carter Is Going To Hell
Two North Carolina Baptist pastors are observing President Jimmy Carter's 90th birthday by suggesting that he might go to hell for saying that Jesus wouldn't discriminate against LGBT people. Pastor David McManus accused Carter of embracing the "h...Read full story
Jackson, Sharpton, Christ Protest Santa Claus's "Ho Ho Ho"
(NORTH POLE) -- Consternation raged today among Santa's elves and other residents of this once-jolly community as spiritual leaders Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Jesus Christ of Nazareth expanded their protest of the use of the word "Ho&qu...Read full story
Jesus would understand the recession says Tony Blair
Yale University, New Haven, Ct - (30 Pieces of Silver Mess): "And what's more He'd absolutely insist intellectual giants such as, er, myself! - employed as $5 million per annum JP Morgan Bank consultants - get their government-sponsored bail out bon...Read full story
Bone Box Stirs Controversy in Vatican and Holy Land!
An ancient ossuary has been uncovered with the tantalizing inscription "Jesus, son of Joseph and His wife, Magdalene the whore". Theologians, church officials and Holy Land experts have leapt into the fray with a war of words and a duel of...Read full story
Jesus Burial Site Authenticated
Dendrochronologists and speliologists have joined research efforts to confirm dates of the wood in the cave when Jesus was buried. Thanks to new methods learned from watching Titanic and CSI reruns, the dating methods conclude with 91% accuracy that...Read full story