God Admits to Being a Codependent
After an eternity of trying desperately to control everything around him so that the people he cared about would be okay, God finally admitted to being a codependent. “I felt like I wasn’t okay unless everyone else was okay,” said God. “I felt res...Read full story
Nashville Man Resolves to Find True Resolve in 2019
After a lifetime of hemming, hawing, and beating around all kinds of bushes, Christian Caldwell of Nashville, Tennessee, has resolved to find true resolve by - or at least during - the New Year. “No two ways about it," said Christian, his resolve...Read full story
Struggling Catholic Church Lays Off Holy Spirit
In the wake of continuing revelations regarding sexual abuse by priests and growing antipathy toward its pro-life/anti-choice stance on abortion, the struggling Catholic Church, unable to sustain a full staff, has laid off the Holy Spirit, long consi...Read full story
Nashville Man Sees a Sign and Transforms His Life
Cody Gray of Nashville, Tennessee, had an unfortunate habit of having just a little - okay, a lot – too much to drink and then recklessly driving himself home. He’d never had an accident or been stopped by the police, but in the back of his mind, he...Read full story
Jesus to Replace Seinfeld in Superman Ad Campaign
UP--In an announcement earlier today, American Express revealed that after creative differences with current spokesperson Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian would be replaced in the current Superman advertising campaign. The company then shocked everyone b...Read full story
Tennessee Man Meets Jesus With Whiskey on His Breath
Tennessee man Joshua Hendricks recently met his Maker – albeit for only about ninety seconds – with whiskey on his breath. “It wasn't exactly how I wanted it to happen,” admitted Hendricks, who fell into a coma as a result of alcohol poisoning but...Read full story
Did Jesus Wear Socks and Sandals, or Did He Paint His Toenails?
It's the ultimate fashion faux pas, of course, but did the Lamb of God wear socks with his sandals? Was that part of the reason that Pontius Pilate agreed to crucify our saviour? What do you think? It's possible, as Nazareth's average January temper...Read full story
Bono Announces Plan to Unite George Bush and Michael Moore.
At a hastily called press conference on his private estate at Rudder Cut Cay in the Bahamas, Irish legend, Bono - the sometimes lead singer in the popular beat combo U2, the seeker of truth, justice and world peace, the man who would be Jesus bejesus...Read full story
Jesus Makes a Confession: " I messed up…"
In a late afternoon press conference, Jesus made a shocking confession: "I screwed up." "I don't get to say that very often, but remember that I'm only mostly divine, you know? Nobody's perfect - well, except my dad. The Creator rarely messes up,...Read full story
Chris Brown's Says Rihanna Has Bad Vibes, Dating Tina Turner
Chris Brown, the 19-year-old R&B Punch & Judy singer who could be on his way to a jail sentence over supposedly beating up singer RiHanna, has told several reporters in the press that he is now dating Tina Turner. "Nothing wrong with that"...Read full story
Jesus Wants Cage Fighting Of MMA
Violence and religion have been one of the primary forces in human history. Now there is a fusion of the two with a new craze for 700 cage-fighting church ministeries across the U.S. "God loves cage fighting," says pastor John Richards of Colu...Read full story
Son of God Living in Mother's Basement
Devoted Christians have descended on a two-story split ranch in Canton, Ohio where they claim the Son of God is residing in his mother's basement. Jason Druggard, better known to his friends as "Christ" says he can prove he is the son of God. He clai...Read full story
Jesus comes back to reteach America the Golden Rule. President Trump declares message "Fake News"
After getting sick of his Facebook feed being flooded with decisive rhetoric and partisan clickbait Jesus, the Son of God, decided to come back to earth early. He originally attempted to just post the Golden Rule on His Facebook page, but it ended u...Read full story
Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations
As Christmas approaches, many will be decorating their homes with more than just trees and lights. For Christians, a common tradition is to put a nativity scene somewhere on display. A nativity scene uses figurines and a stable to depict the story of...Read full story
Jesus H. Crikey to host new reality show!
Last night, while in a deep meditational state, I channelled the cosmic energy life force of one of the great mystical major domo dudes of this century, and a couple of others, at the very least. Jesus H. Crikey! Yep! the one and only. Below, I have related what his life force herbal essence type remnants of self deposited within the nook and cranny recesses of my unworthy mind. NOTE:...Read full story