Harry Berry from Muskogee Wisconsin saw Jesus on a piece of toast. Being a god-fearing Catholic, he ate his god. And then puked.
Harry then switched to Buddhism because “The Buddists don’t make you eat shit, do they? I ate that toast and it tasted like skin! I’m not kidding! Ever chewed a hangnail or bitten off a scab? That’s what Jesus tastes like! I was gonna put peanut butter and jam on him, but I didn’t know if that would be blasphemy! I don’t understand these goddamn Catholic rules – they got so many and seem to always be making more. How many fucking rules does God want us to live by? Why couldn’t he make us perfect – in his image – in the first place? Maybe he ain’t so perfect, if his toasted Son tastes like shit.”
Harry has also switched to low sodium bran cereal, and vows never to toast a piece of bread again, partially for fear of going to Hell.
