Death Spoof News

29 June 2022

Unmasked Vet inhales squeaky toy and dies

Hollywood, CA - In an establishment known for catering to the Hollywood elite...death is not supposed to happen. It did but not in the way one expects. "Let's do it Doggy Style" is being sued by a former vet's widow for neglect. "Yeah, "former"…

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Death Row Cat Evades Man's Attempts To Capture It

A cat which bit a woman's leg for no reason whatsoever other than it is a very bad cat, has been accused, investigated, convicted and sentenced to death, and has subsequently been put on Death Row. The cat, which is a ginger color, bit my wife the...

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Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death

Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...

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Shocking Culmination of the Dialectic: Socialism Conquers Death!

According to a new article by scholars of the leftwing Brookings Institution, critics who are fond of deriding socialism’s supposed failures are the ones who fail, in that they stubbornly refuse to see “the big picture.” While pointing to the mat…

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Keith Flint's Ghost Visits Pub Looking Slightly Less Scary Than Keith Flint Did

There were a few raised eyebrows but no shrieking at an Essex public house at the weekend, when the ghost of former landlord, Keith Flint, paid an unexpected visit to the pub, and, as he was used to doing, started the fire in the bar. Flint, 49, d...

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Former President Announces His Own Death

Bedminster, NJ - Donald Trump, who pretended to be president for four years, today announced his death. The person now known as The Former Guy, or TFG, made the statement at a gathering of four pseudo-journalists at his New Jersey golf club. “I, D…

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"There's Somebody At The Door!" Rod Hull Speaks From The Grave

Holocaust train draws guilt-ridden German hypocrites in droves

Tweety Dead of Bird Flu

Woman Suffers Death By Max Bygraves

COVID-19: Man Insisting That He Will 'Die Looking Good'

Dead man found in graveyard

Man Dies After Refusing Coronavirus Vaccine

Oldest man in the world dies after having sex!

Tokyo Olympic Games To Go Ahead 'Behind Closed Doors'

John Travolta Tests Negative For Coronavirus

Renowned Art Historian Sacked over Death Threat

Liverpool Denied First Title In 30 Years By Coronavirus Football Shutdown

World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28

Clarke B Dingwall, the worlds tallest recorded dwarf, died last night in a tragic accident. Dingwall, 28, was last recorded at a height of 6'3", making him easily the tallest dwarf in the world, the next closest being Samuel N'gbab of Nigeria at a...

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West Brom Fans Disrespectful To Fallen War Heroes

Remembrance Day is the day when those who perished in battle are honoured with a celebration of their bravery, and recognition of the price they paid for our freedom. We should observe it, each in our own way, but, ideally, not in the way some sectio...

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Jim Morrison's Body Exhumed

Paris -- There has always been a lot of controversy around the death of rock and roll legend Jim Morrison. The lead singer of the Doors died in a Paris Flat in July of 1971. The story of mystery signatures on his death certificate and his manager b...

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Michael Jackson "King of Pop" dies on the toilet like Elvis

It has been reported by unconfirmed sources that the undisputed 'King of Pop' Michael Jackson died while engaged in unblocking his rectum on a gold-plated toilet. The star had just completed a rigorous training session involving weightlifting smal...

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Ghost Of Former Liverpool Manager Bill Shankly Seen Hovering Around Premier League Offices

Bill Shankly, the former Liverpool manager who steered the Reds to massive success in the 1960s and 70s, has been seen hovering around the offices of the English Premier League, making a nuisance of himself. Or rather, his ghost has. Executives...

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Terminally Ill Patients Resentful They’re Not Dying From Covid-19

(San Louis Obispo, California) The endless media bombardment that has pummeled the public from the Coronavirus pandemic, has overwhelmed the majority of us. Between continual news updates from social media, a cacophony of online broadcasts, and daily...

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World's Unluckiest Man Killed By Falling Satellite

Ned Tremble, the world's unluckiest man, was sadly killed yesterday by a falling satellite, in what appeared to be the final insult to a life of hardship. Tremble achieved official 'unluckiest' status four years ago, after a string of mishaps, unf...

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Betty White, Joan Rivers and Larry King Neck and Neck In Office Death Pool

Things are hotting up in a South Florida offices' 'death pool' after new member of staff, Kevin Ball wagered $200 on former Golden Girl Betty White to pip current favorites Joan Rivers and Larry King to the grave. "I feel good about Betty's prosp...

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Obituary: Sean Connery Discovers You Only Live Once

Sean Connery, the actor who died at the weekend, having had a long and successful career 'tramping the boards' - not least in the James Bond movies - has finally found that, contrary to popular belief, you only live once. Connery died on Saturday,…

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John Travolta Back In Hospital

Having undergone tests for the Coronavirus in hospital last week, superstar actor, John Travolta, was back under medical supervision today after suffering further 'flu-like symptoms. Travolta, 66, was initially admitted to hospital for tests last...

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Erased by the Light: A Choose Your Own Adventure Account of the Afterlife

You're driving home from work on a Thursday late afternoon as ordinary as the sausage and egg sandwich you stuffed into yourself on the way in that morning. You're behind one of those flatbed trucks with large wooden poles which you assume will soon adorn some neighborhood as telephone poles. You're wondering, as you often do when behind one of these flatbed trucks, how well the bundle of potent...

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Unrenowned Writer Found Undead

A highly unrenowned writer for The Onion was found undead near Fargo, North Dakota Thursday. The cause of death is not being investigated even though the body of Kilroy Kovacs III, who went by the pseudonym “Kilroy”, was found dressed in a bunny suit…

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Coronavirus: Man Doesn't Want To Cause Widespread Panic, But EVERYONE Is Going To Die

With the deadly Coronavirus spreading quickly across all continents, one man, who has painstakingly analyzed the situation, has said that he doesn't really want to cause mass hysteria amongst the populace, but everyone - yes, EVERYBODY - is going to…

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Reagan sightings begin

DURNBARN, Tenn. -- The first post-life Ronald Reagan sighting has taken place only hours after the former President/actor's death was announced.

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