Man Went To Funeral, Just To 'Get Out Of The House'
A man who has been suffering mental torture during the Coronavirus Lockdown, has told how he was so desperate for a chance to get out of his own house this morning, that he decided to go to the funeral of a woman he had never heard of. Moys Kenwoo…
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Fears of a Second Covid19 pandemic are being started
Following the disappointing spring pandemic of Covid19, the mass media are stoking fear that a second wave could be launched within just weeks. The BBC and Sky news, especially, are wanting to spread panic and fear amongst the population. But what…
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Boris admits mistakes were made but he’ll do better next time
Earlier today Boris Johnson acknowledged some failings regarding the initial coronavirus press briefings. ‘I do think that, perhaps, with hindsight, I could have taken better expert advice, listened more, and adapted to the situation quicker. On…
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Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death
Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...
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Man Wasn't Aware That Author Had Died From Syphilis
It's not usually the sort of thing most people consider when they pick up a book to read it, but when one man started reading at the weekend, he could hardly have been less prepared for the news he was about to learn about the nature of the author's…
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Toilet Paper In Demand Because People Are Shitting Themselves Over Coronavirus
A top consumer analyst has said that the reason behind the perceived madness of panic-buying toilet rolls, is that the Coronavirus and its implications have got people shitting themselves. More than they usually shit, that is. Moys Kenwood, 56,...
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Thatcher's death - celebrity hypochrites sing her praises
Man In Dispute With Wife, Over Motorbike
World's Oldest Looking Man Dies Aged 77
Giant killer frogs attack nurses at prison hospital
Jim Morrison's Body Exhumed
Man Got Drunk, Sat In A Wheelbarrow, And Cried For His Mommy
New York Man Says There Are Two Things You Can Be Sure Of
Anna Nicole Smith Autopsy Points To Murder
Mexico Demands Wall Be Built In Aftermath Of El Paso Shootings
Revealed: Best Was Allowed One Last Death-Bed Bender
Vatican Report: The Inquisition wasn't that bad...George W. Bush Agrees
He-Man Kills Skeletor, Bush Applauds
Top 10 Things That WILL Kill You in 2020
Death is ALWAYS around an unexpected corner. A person can NEVER be too safe. FEAR not, friends. I’m here to proffer a very specific list in the hopes that it will SAVE lives. Below is a list of the ten most likely things to KILL you in th…
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Piranha Attack Victim Felt As If He Were Been Eaten Alive
A man who was the victim of an attack by piranha fish in the South American Amazon Basin, has said the animals were so ferocious, and the attack so sustained, he felt he was literally being "eaten alive". Ernesto Sanchez was on a camping trip in a...
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Tweety Dead of Bird Flu
Warner Brothers' cartoon character Tweety Bird has been the latest death from the mysterious bird flu. Tweety was one of the first Americans and the biggest name star to contact and die due to the illness.
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Keith Flint's Ghost Visits Pub Looking Slightly Less Scary Than Keith Flint Did
There were a few raised eyebrows but no shrieking at an Essex public house at the weekend, when the ghost of former landlord, Keith Flint, paid an unexpected visit to the pub, and, as he was used to doing, started the fire in the bar. Flint, 49, d...
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Mud 'Lonely This Christmas' To Be Re-Issued
The British glam-rock group, Mud, have announced that their record company will be re-releasing one of their biggest hit singles, 'Lonely This Christmas' later this month, before it's too late! Mud had a string of Top-10 hits during the early 1970...
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300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming
300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming Beaner, Tennessee - Jonnie Ben Johnson, a 41 year old Beaner homemaker, admits that she's petrified by the thought of dying from global warming, saying, "It scares...
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Death Row Cat Evades Man's Attempts To Capture It
A cat which bit a woman's leg for no reason whatsoever other than it is a very bad cat, has been accused, investigated, convicted and sentenced to death, and has subsequently been put on Death Row. The cat, which is a ginger color, bit my wife the...
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Soprano-Corleone Mob Wars Claim More Lives.
Anthony Soprano Jr., son of alleged Mafia boss Tony Soprano, was found dead last night, outside his family's home. There has been no official word yet on the cause of death, so natural causes cannot be ruled out, but some witnesses reported seeing a...
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John Travolta Tests Negative For Coronavirus
After an initial scare on Friday, Hollywood superstar, John Travolta, has left hospital this morning, having completed a full series of tests for the Coronavirus. The results were all negative. Doctors said that he was suffering from a simple c...
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Siesmologists Determine Pat Garrett Roles Over In Grave
Siesmologists at the New Mexico State University Geology Department have determined that the late Sheriff Pat Garrett has turned over in his grave. The sheriff, most famous for shooting Billy the Kid, was killed himself outside of Las Cruces, New Me...
Read full storyFunny Death Headlines
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Woman Charged in Beating Death of Personal Computer
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Ethiopia Blames High Infant Mortality rate on Dying Babies
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World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28
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Auto Chiefs Laugh At Death, Party On
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Funeral for "The Spoof" Avatar and Editor in Chief Postponed
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Jeffrey Epstein 'Suicide' Is "Sketchy At Best", Says Criminal Network
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Coronavirus Resistant To All Attempts To Change Its Name
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Liverpool Denied First Title In 30 Years By Coronavirus Football Shutdown
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Ghost Of Former Liverpool Manager Bill Shankly Seen Hovering Around Premier League Offices
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Louisiana Pastor Asks Followers to Send their Stimulus Checks to Churches Instead of Buying Food!
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Bigfoot found, shot down in cold blood
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Cause of Anna Nicole Smith's Prolonged Death Revealed.
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Idiot Decapitated by French Revolution Guillotine Ride at Georgia Six Flags
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Andy Rooney Writes His Own Obituary
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Woman's Bad Breath Kills Seven on Tourist Train
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Grieving Woman Finds Difficult People Refreshing to Be Around
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Outwardly Sympathetic Coworkers Privately Feel Woman Should Be Over Her Dead Cat by Now
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Coronavirus COVID-19: What Does It Want?
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Man Approached By Killer Whale Says He Thought He Was Going To Be Killed
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Nashville Roofer Dies after Falling from 12-Story Building and Testing Positive for COVID-19
