California Officials to Blow up Oroville Damn!
Sacramento, CA - Sanitation Officer Santo Phlushe revealed today, at a small press conference, a solution to the sanitation issues facing San Francisco’s poop laid-in side walks. “We all know San Francisco stinks. It’s a pooplematic situation for...
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Keith Flint's Ghost Visits Pub Looking Slightly Less Scary Than Keith Flint Did
There were a few raised eyebrows but no shrieking at an Essex public house at the weekend, when the ghost of former landlord, Keith Flint, paid an unexpected visit to the pub, and, as he was used to doing, started the fire in the bar. Flint, 49, d...
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Young Man's Death Deemed Non-Tragic Suicide
After 22-year-old Jake Pruitt of Queens, New York, was found dead in his bathtub, his wrists slit and bloody, police officers officially deemed his death a non-tragic suicide. "He really didn't have much going for him," said New York Police Chief...
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Man freezes to death in the iciest of ice bucket challenges
Bronx, N.Y. - Ice bucket challenges have gone viral in the social media circuit. These challenges involve a nomination of friends who will either take the challenge or donate to a charity to fund research to reduce morbidity and mortality caused by A...
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The Uncontainable Fukushima Song
Fukushima as sung by Pairee Komokazee Uncontainable The radiation's very high It's uncontainable Uncontainable Ask a widow not to cry It's uncontainable Can I hold your mutant tumor And not feel you dying with me? Split the atom That I never think of death Oh, uncontainable! Will the ocean Keep on glowing on the shore? It's uncontainable If I ate fish Could I die forever...
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Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death
Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...
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Research Finds Uncanny Fatality Rates in Terminally Ill Patients
Siesmologists Determine Pat Garrett Roles Over In Grave
Man Dies of Boredom at Work
Heaney dead at 74
If Beehive Clothing Sold Eternal Companions
Here Comes "Hyper-Removal"
Professor in Corpse Sex Plan
Woman's Nosy Neighbour Died Unexpectedly And Out-Of-The-Blue
Is there life before death spirit medium investigates.
"There's Somebody At The Door!" Rod Hull Speaks From The Grave
TIME .. TIME .. TIME
The Worst 10 Eurovision Songs
Town appalled flume ride uses dirty water
It was recently discovered by residents of Goodstun, Arizona that the local log ride, built in 1957, has, in fact, been using dirty water for years. The discovery was made when local scientists from the Goodstun YMCA tested the ph balance only fo...
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Soprano-Corleone Mob Wars Claim More Lives.
Anthony Soprano Jr., son of alleged Mafia boss Tony Soprano, was found dead last night, outside his family's home. There has been no official word yet on the cause of death, so natural causes cannot be ruled out, but some witnesses reported seeing a...
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Man Sees Lorry With His Name On It Near His Home
A man returning to his home from a shopping excursion in the town where he lives, was witness to an extraordinary coincidence this morning when he saw a lorry with his own surname emblazoned across the front of it. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Tapon, Batt...
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Chuckle Brother Has Learnt To Laugh Again
When Barry Chuckle, one half of the Chuckle Brothers died in August 2018, Paul Chuckle, the other half, was hit hard. The pair were more than showbusiness brothers, they were real-life brothers, as their surname suggests, and blood is thicker than...
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Death Threat Would Never Have Been Carried Out, Says Man Who Sent Himself A Death Threat
A man who sent himself a death threat has told police he never meant to carry it out. The man, Myke Himself, 55, said that the threat was just a prank. Himself said he sent the death threat to himself "as a laugh", and that it was not meant to...
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Father Christmas Killed in Tragic Sleigh Accident, Say Cash-Strapped Parents
St Nicholas, the jovial and benevolent bearer of Christmas gifts died when his custom-made sleigh collided with a Jumbo Jet just outside the North Pole, newly-impoverished parents reported to their children yesterday. The man more commonly known a...
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O'Reilly's fish and chip shop in Bridlington claim Osama Bin Laden alive and well
The proprietor of O'Reilly's, Bridlington's premier fish and chip takeaway, who strangely enough is called Mr O'Reilly, claims that famous Saudi prince of darkness and bomb-making equipment, Osama Bin Laden, is not in fact dead, but has been spirited...
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Horror: Jack Dies In Terrifying Fall.
Jack Smith, 860, died last night in a terrifying fall from his beanstalk. The hero of the children's story had lived alone there ever since killing the Giant. The adventurer rose to fame when he misguidedly swapped a cow for magic beans. His fu...
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My Wife's Cats Deserve To Die
Yes, the headline says it all. My wife's cats deserve to die. Just like mass murderers like Saddaam, just like pedophile rapists like Polanski, just like cult leader scum like Jim Johnson, these cats have no saving graces or redeemable qualities. It was them I was thinking about when I wrote my story on How to Skin a Cat. It was them that I wrote about when I shared this experience. My wi...
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Man Got Drunk, Sat In A Wheelbarrow, And Cried For His Mommy
Christmas isn't always a happy time, and, for some people, it can be a period of downright misery. This was the case with one man on Christmas Day, when the pressure of his work, the failure of his relationship, and the alienation and isolation of be...
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Man Died Reading 'The Plague' By Albert Camus
Police investigating the death of a man who lived alone, say he may have been killed by a book. The man died on Thursday after being struck down by a terrible illness that produced severe and pronounced buboes on his groins, back, neck and in his...
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Actress Fay Wray - Dead from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome
NEW YORK (AP) Seventy-one years after her harrowing experience with one of nature's most awesome creatures, screen legend Fay Wray died in her Manhattan apartment. Death finally came to Fay Wray not far from the Empire State Building where mil...
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300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming
300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming Beaner, Tennessee - Jonnie Ben Johnson, a 41 year old Beaner homemaker, admits that she's petrified by the thought of dying from global warming, saying, "It scares...
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Texas Death Row Inmate Uses Intelligent Design to Escape
HOUSTON - Charlie Thompson, a death row inmate who walked out of the Harris County Jail and is now the subject of a nationwide manhunt claims he used "Intelligent Design" to plan and execute his escape. Placing a call to talk radio show ho...
Read full storyFunny Death Headlines
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Clay Aiken's Brush With Worse- Than -Death; The Attack of the Paparazzi!
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OJ Finds Real Killer
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Revealed: Best Was Allowed One Last Death-Bed Bender
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Death of Bush movie shocks TheoCons
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Effective Methods of Getting Yourself Killed
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Altona, Illinois Man Found Dead Near Masonic Hall
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Creepy Kid Who 'Sees Dead People' Says He's Well Happy
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New York: Melting Snow Could Kill You!
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Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side
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Movie-Quoting Dumbass Who Stood Precariously On Railing Of Cruise Ship No Longer King of the Wo- Woah! Aaaaaaaaah!
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Cure for Death found
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Vatican Report: The Inquisition wasn't that bad...George W. Bush Agrees
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Dead bodies make great beer
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World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28
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Police make a gruesome discovery in a Dorking house
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Steve Gold: The Death Of A Footballing Legend
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Elderly Woman Dies of Natural Causes - Hundreds Celebrate
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Police Question Nina Dobrev About Dead Man!
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Funeral Homes Preparing For Baby Boomer Bonanza
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Two separate piles of ash found behind White House gym, later revealed to be the remains of Trump and Biden
