Outwardly Sympathetic Coworkers Privately Feel Woman Should Be Over Her Dead Cat by Now
Lucie Farrell received a great deal of sympathy from her coworkers immediately following the unexpected death of her 12-year-old feline companion, Luke, but after several weeks had passed, most of them agreed amongst themselves that she really ought...
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Millennial Worries that Being Dead Might Be Even More Boring than Being Alive
Curt Framingham, a 26-year-old software designer living in Atlanta, Georgia, isn't particularly impressed with what life's had to offer him thus far but is concerned that being dead might be even more boring. "Honestly, I'd say consciousness is ov...
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Boris Johnson targets dead voters for the next election
This week, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been visiting graveyards, tombs and haunted houses throughout the country to build support for a possible snap election in the autumn. Spokesman Jeff Hades explained, "The voters who are most closely...
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Mass Shooting Saga
Another two mass shootings in America (250 this year. We do expect that to be 251 by the time this piece is published) have claimed the lives of 29 people, and once again the gun laws of the nation are under attack. With many calling for stricter...
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Jeffrey Epstein 'Suicide' Is "Sketchy At Best", Says Criminal Network
The death in custody of financier, and alleged sex pest, Jeffrey Epstein, could not have happened completely by his own hand, according to the criminal underground. Epstein was found lifeless in his cell yesterday, and his corpse was rushed to a M...
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Mexico Demands Wall Be Built In Aftermath Of El Paso Shootings
Sources close to the government in Mexico are saying that Mexican residents living close to the US border at El Paso are demanding that the wall US president Donald Trump has talked about building for so long, be built as soon as is humanly possible.
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Interview with Sir John Cleggs-Bennett. Part 1
Grieving Woman Finds Difficult People Refreshing to Be Around
300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming
Dead Bodies to be made into Bricks
Tweety Dead of Bird Flu
Funeral for "The Spoof" Avatar and Editor in Chief Postponed
Man Got Drunk, Sat In A Wheelbarrow, And Cried For His Mommy
Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range
Dr David Kelly: It's come to this - 'Death Squads' in Great Britain!
Peter Fox held for murder
Catastrophic End to World Signaled by Parrot's Death
R. Jiggaboo Reynolds: Wheeze Makin' Menthol Mad Smokes!
Priti Patel Vows To Make Criminals Terrified Of The Law
New Home Secretary, Priti Patel, has said that criminals should be made "terrified of the law", and that she wants them to: "literally feel terror". Patel told anyone who would listen, that: "The Conservative Party is the party of law and or...
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Pamplona Bull Run Results In No Deaths Again
The annual 'Running of the Bulls' bull run in the Spanish city of Pamplona got off to a disappointing start today when absolutely nobody - not a single person - was killed. The event is a major attraction for the city, with morbid spectators takin...
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Black Death On Its Way Back
The Black Death, the devastating pandemic that struck terror into countries all across the continents of Asia and Europe during the fourteenth century, killing around 100million people, is back amongst us, and set to take its toll once more. This...
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Gecko Eaten By Army Of Ants
In what's being treated by police here as a complete non-event, a gecko found on the floor of a house in southeast Asia, had been so thoroughly nibbled at by ants, that all that was left of it was its skeleton! The gecko - or lizard, as the specie...
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Spirulina Is Soylent Green
Food technicians in California, working on research into health supplements, have unearthed what they say is worrying evidence that Spirulina, a cyanobacteria, or blue-green algae, previously thought to have been composed of protein, carbohydrates, f...
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US Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive
US manufacturers of cigarettes have said that thousands of new jobs will soon be available, after it was announced, yesterday, that e-cigarettes were to be outlawed in San Francisco. Cigarette manufacturers immediately began advertizing for staff...
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Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death
Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...
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Town appalled flume ride uses dirty water
It was recently discovered by residents of Goodstun, Arizona that the local log ride, built in 1957, has, in fact, been using dirty water for years. The discovery was made when local scientists from the Goodstun YMCA tested the ph balance only fo...
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Man Sees Lorry With His Name On It Near His Home
A man returning to his home from a shopping excursion in the town where he lives, was witness to an extraordinary coincidence this morning when he saw a lorry with his own surname emblazoned across the front of it. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Tapon, Batt...
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Soprano-Corleone Mob Wars Claim More Lives.
Anthony Soprano Jr., son of alleged Mafia boss Tony Soprano, was found dead last night, outside his family's home. There has been no official word yet on the cause of death, so natural causes cannot be ruled out, but some witnesses reported seeing a...
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World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28
Clarke B Dingwall, the worlds tallest recorded dwarf, died last night in a tragic accident. Dingwall, 28, was last recorded at a height of 6'3", making him easily the tallest dwarf in the world, the next closest being Samuel N'gbab of Nigeria at a...
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Oklahoma Man Dies While Attempting to Kill Time
Brent Hargrave of Tulsa, Oklahoma, was attempting to kill time at his boring office job when time rallied and, in a valiant show of self-defense, slayed the project manager. “I don't think he even saw it coming,” said Hargrave's former co-worker,...
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World's Oldest Looking Man Dies Aged 77
The world's oldest looking man, Freddy Grantabunto died last night aged 77. Ironically, doctors have attributed his death to old age. A retired Malaysian wood-chopper who spent most of his entire life working in the small village of Juntar, Grant...
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Movie-Quoting Dumbass Who Stood Precariously On Railing Of Cruise Ship No Longer King of the Wo- Woah! Aaaaaaaaah!
10 miles west of the Florida Keys- A cliché- and movie-quoting dumbass, who thought he was being really original by re-enacting a famous scene from the movie Titanic, ceased to be king of the world on Friday, when he slipped from the railing of the C...
Read full storyFunny Death Headlines
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Who killed Bob Woolmer?
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Terrorism Alert Hits Earnings at Walgreens [WAG] after CNN's Beck Comments
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Michael Jackson "King of Pop" dies on the toilet like Elvis
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The Day the Sausage Died
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Siesmologists Determine Pat Garrett Roles Over In Grave
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Ode's to Famous Dead People: Book 3
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Princess Diana Honoured By Posthumous Awards
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Chicago Woman Sues Politicians Over Her Dead Husbands 15 Votes
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Funeral Homes Preparing For Baby Boomer Bonanza
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Man freezes to death in the iciest of ice bucket challenges
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Thatcher's death - celebrity hypochrites sing her praises
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Man Fakes His Own Death So He Can Avoid Having To Wash the Dishes
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Daily Mail: OK, we lied.
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Steve Gold: The Death Of A Footballing Legend
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Heaney dead at 74
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Elephant No Longer In The Room
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Giant killer frogs attack nurses at prison hospital
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Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods
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The Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death's Bus Tour in 2025
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Nashville Man Accidentally Kicks List-Containing Bucket
