Gecko Eaten By Army Of Ants
In what's being treated by police here as a complete non-event, a gecko found on the floor of a house in southeast Asia, had been so thoroughly nibbled at by ants, that all that was left of it was its skeleton! The gecko - or lizard, as the specie...
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Spirulina Is Soylent Green
Food technicians in California, working on research into health supplements, have unearthed what they say is worrying evidence that Spirulina, a cyanobacteria, or blue-green algae, previously thought to have been composed of protein, carbohydrates, f...
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US Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive
US manufacturers of cigarettes have said that thousands of new jobs will soon be available, after it was announced, yesterday, that e-cigarettes were to be outlawed in San Francisco. Cigarette manufacturers immediately began advertizing for staff...
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Pamplona Bull Run Results In No Deaths Again
The annual 'Running of the Bulls' bull run in the Spanish city of Pamplona got off to a disappointing start today when absolutely nobody - not a single person - was killed. The event is a major attraction for the city, with morbid spectators takin...
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Black Death On Its Way Back
The Black Death, the devastating pandemic that struck terror into countries all across the continents of Asia and Europe during the fourteenth century, killing around 100million people, is back amongst us, and set to take its toll once more. This...
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Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death
Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...
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An Achievment for the Ages: Elderly Woman Proud to Have Written ‘New York Times Bestselling Will’
Chuckle Brother Has Learnt To Laugh Again
Boris Johnson targets dead voters for the next election
Thai Government Issues Travel Warning for UK
My Wife's Cats Deserve To Die
Oldest Brit Eunice Dies At 111
Heroic Custodian Kills Osama Bin Laden
World's Oldest Looking Man Dies Aged 77
NBA wipes out "Loser Teams" in front of stunned onlookers.
Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods
Jim Morrison's Body Exhumed
World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28
Town appalled flume ride uses dirty water
It was recently discovered by residents of Goodstun, Arizona that the local log ride, built in 1957, has, in fact, been using dirty water for years. The discovery was made when local scientists from the Goodstun YMCA tested the ph balance only fo...
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Man Sees Lorry With His Name On It Near His Home
A man returning to his home from a shopping excursion in the town where he lives, was witness to an extraordinary coincidence this morning when he saw a lorry with his own surname emblazoned across the front of it. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Tapon, Batt...
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Mexico Demands Wall Be Built In Aftermath Of El Paso Shootings
Sources close to the government in Mexico are saying that Mexican residents living close to the US border at El Paso are demanding that the wall US president Donald Trump has talked about building for so long, be built as soon as is humanly possible.
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California Officials to Blow up Oroville Damn!
UPDATE: CALFISH is now evacuating the Salmon from below the Damn. According to spokes-fish Hal A. Bight, the fish, and their human worshippers, are stealthily exiting for high ground. “We like water, but a 100-foot wall of it moving at seventy-...
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Millennial Worries that Being Dead Might Be Even More Boring than Being Alive
Curt Framingham, a 26-year-old software designer living in Atlanta, Georgia, isn't particularly impressed with what life's had to offer him thus far but is concerned that being dead might be even more boring. "Honestly, I'd say consciousness is ov...
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Outwardly Sympathetic Coworkers Privately Feel Woman Should Be Over Her Dead Cat by Now
Lucie Farrell received a great deal of sympathy from her coworkers immediately following the unexpected death of her 12-year-old feline companion, Luke, but after several weeks had passed, most of them agreed amongst themselves that she really ought...
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Soprano-Corleone Mob Wars Claim More Lives.
Anthony Soprano Jr., son of alleged Mafia boss Tony Soprano, was found dead last night, outside his family's home. There has been no official word yet on the cause of death, so natural causes cannot be ruled out, but some witnesses reported seeing a...
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300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming
300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming Beaner, Tennessee - Jonnie Ben Johnson, a 41 year old Beaner homemaker, admits that she's petrified by the thought of dying from global warming, saying, "It scares...
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Jeffrey Epstein 'Suicide' Is "Sketchy At Best", Says Criminal Network
The death in custody of financier, and alleged sex pest, Jeffrey Epstein, could not have happened completely by his own hand, according to the criminal underground. Epstein was found lifeless in his cell yesterday, and his corpse was rushed to a M...
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Man Got Drunk, Sat In A Wheelbarrow, And Cried For His Mommy
Christmas isn't always a happy time, and, for some people, it can be a period of downright misery. This was the case with one man on Christmas Day, when the pressure of his work, the failure of his relationship, and the alienation and isolation of be...
Read full storyFunny Death Headlines
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Thatcher's death - celebrity hypochrites sing her praises
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Death dies in remote Indian village
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Dead Man Walking in Scotland
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Interview with Sir John Cleggs-Bennett. Part 1
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Horror: Jack Dies In Terrifying Fall.
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New - more exciting interesections planned for US highways
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Dr Kenwood's Worst-Case Scenario Casebook # 2: Am I Going To Die?
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New York Woman Reports Near-Life Experience
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Two separate piles of ash found behind White House gym, later revealed to be the remains of Trump and Biden
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Nashville Man Accidentally Kicks List-Containing Bucket
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Cradle of Filth to be Christmas Number 1
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Terri Schiavo's Tragic Death
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Scots Porridge Mine Disaster
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Dying Man Hopes To Meet Johnny Carson
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Michael Jackson Fakes Death, Goes Into Hiding
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Worlds smallest man dies after attempting to have sex on a bar stool!
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Necromancy and Mistaken Identity of Biblical Proportions
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Internet gaming replaces HIV as No. 1 killer of young males!
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Justin Bieber song brings woman back from dead
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Keith Flint's Ghost Visits Pub Looking Slightly Less Scary Than Keith Flint Did
