Written by Jesus Budda

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

image for Fat Bastards told to diet or die
More fat bastards will die unless they get help. Or lose weight. Hugs from mice won't help this fat cat.

A group of fat bastards have been told by their doctors that they must stat losing weight immediately or risk ending up dying of fatness.

A spokesperson of the 'Friends of Fat Folk" organization which represents a lot of fat fucks said that they were surprised with the straight talking of the medical practitioners:

"I'm surprised at the straight talking of the medical practitioners", said the spokesman.

Stores have reported an increase in diet pills and laxatives since the announcement.

"I had two fat fucks in here just this very morning", said one local storeowner, "bought a whole bunch of pills and new-fangled diet drinks. Oh, and about two dozen frozen chickens too".

The death rate for fatso's is increasing every day and gravediggers are reporting a huge increase in the size of holes they must now dig.

"If it continues like this we may have to go Hindu on their asses", said one graveyard owner, "but I'm not sure how harmful burning all that fat lard could be towards the environment".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Death, Obesity




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
40 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more