EastEnders Mel Death Sparks Calls For Lorry Driver 'Extra' Investigation

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 19 November 2019

image for EastEnders Mel Death Sparks Calls For Lorry Driver 'Extra' Investigation
The last fictional moments of Mel Owen

After the tragic fictional death, on Thursday, of EastEnders star, Mel Owen, there were calls, last night, for a thorough and rigorous investigation into just how the 'extra' employed as the driver of the lorry that killed her, was ever given a part in the show.

Mel, played by Tamzin Outhwaite, had been followed down the motorway by Sharon (Letitia Dean), when her car 'flipped' leaving her trapped inside. Mel was pulled from the vehicle by Sharon, who then called the emergency services.

Sharon tried to comfort Mel, but Mel thought she could hear the voice of her son, Hunter, coming from the burning car, and tried to return to it, succeeding only in having herself mown down by a lorry travelling at around 60mph.

The BBC switchboard was swamped by dozens of viewers all asking the same question:

"What on Earth was the 'extra' playing the lorry driver doing, careering along at 60mph, when he MUST have been able to see the carnage of overturned vehicles, flames and plumes of smoke coming from the burning car?"

One irate viewer said:

"Where do they get these people from? You see fire, smoke, three overturned vehicles, and you STILL manage to plough into one of the main stars of the show? I'm flabbergasted! Incredulous!"

The BBC have issued a statement saying they will be undertaking an immediate inquiry into the fictional death, and are helping fictional police with their fictional investigations over how such a fictional tragedy could happen on British television.

Miss Outhwaite said:

"I'm not sure quite what the 'driver' was thinking. He obviously hadn't read the script properly, or he would, surely, have taken much more care about how he was driving that lorry. It smacks of poor casting."

She still hasn't written off her return, however.

"Max Branning was buried alive, six feet under," she said, "but that didn't stop him making a comeback, looking like he'd been to the Costa Brava for a month!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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