Outwardly Sympathetic Coworkers Privately Feel Woman Should Be Over Her Dead Cat by Now

Written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 16 August 2019

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One of Lucie's coworkers noted that it's a little pathetic how attached middle-aged women get to their cats.

Lucie Farrell received a great deal of sympathy from her coworkers immediately following the unexpected death of her 12-year-old feline companion, Luke, but after several weeks had passed, most of them agreed amongst themselves that she really ought to be over her dead cat by now.

"For Christ's sake, it was a cat," said Lucie's longtime colleague Jeff Bergen. "They don't even feel affection. If her cat was ever nice to her, it was only because it knew she was his meal ticket."

Jeff added that a girl he once dated had a cat, and it was always slinking up around his legs and trying to rub on him. "It was super creepy," he said."Not sure what its deal was."

Another of Lucie's coworkers, Sarah Parson, commented that while she appreciated what a blow the loss must have been to single, 43-year-old Lucie, it is a little pathetic how attached middle-aged women get to their pets. "Sorry, animal companion, animal companion," she corrected herself. "Lucle can't stand the word 'pet.'"

And Lucie's boss, Tim Kennedy, said that maybe Lucie will start to feel better once she notices how nice it is for her apartment to not smell like cat piss all the time. "I've never been over there," he said, "but I can only imagine."

Even so, Lucie's supportive colleagues say that they'll continue to be polite when Lucie tears up when someone asks how she's doing or mentions her dead cat.

"She really doesn't have anything else going for her now that the cat's dead," said Sarah. "Maybe now she'll finally find a man."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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