Anna Nicole Smith Autopsy Points To Murder

Funny story written by Moose&Squirell

Monday, 26 March 2007

image for Anna Nicole Smith Autopsy Points To Murder
Jane Doe: I was questioned and released & I told investigators I hadn't spoken to Nicole since pre-school

MiAMI, FLORIDA--(RUMRZ) "Anna Nicole Smith was Murdered!", Admits Dr. Tim Bucktooth, Miami Dade County Coroner, at a news conference this morning. Shock and a new heightened interest was the reaction to the verdict being handed down on the mysterious death. The findings now point to several suspects known to Anna Nicole Smith from business & personal relationships. Names like Howard K. Stern, Howard Stern, Gerald Nelson, Antoinette Renouf, Bernadette Vine, Svenja Sachweh, Susan Meredith Burt, Christine Cheepen, John Greenleaf, Diederick Grobbee, Richard Hanneman, Micah Leshem, Sandy Logan, David McCarrona and Suzanne Oparil.

Police also would like to talk to, Marco Antonio Da Rocha, Bill Fisher, Dan I. Slobin, Robert Carter, Ronni Chernoff, David Cole, Riikka Alanen, Maria Jose Alvarez-Torres, Janet Anderson-Hsieh, David Ashworth, John Barson, David Bickerton, Dan Blaine, Robert Bley-Vroman, Jay David Bolter, Claire Bradin, Klaus Brandl, Anna Livia Brawn, Ellen Broselow, J. D. Brown, Jack Burston, Michael Byram, Bill Byrne, Micheline Chalhoub-Deville, Anna Chamot and Carol Chapelle.

Authorities are also keeping a close eye on, Candace Chou, Andrew Cohen, Sherri Condon, Haruko Cook, David Crookal, Graham Crookes, Martha Crosby, Gery d'Ydewalle, Graham Davies, Boyd Davis, Jim Davis, Robert Debski, Bob DeKeyser, Catherine Doughty, Farzad Ehsani, Robert Fischer, Otmar Foelsche, Nina Garrett, Thomas Garza, Susan Gass, Robert Godwin-Jones, Caroline Grace, Chad T. Green, Betty Guthrie, Christina Haas and Joan Kelly Hall,

Some of Smith's closest friends namely, Lucinda Hart-Gonzalez, Michael Heim, Grant Henning, Monica Hill, Lloyd Holliday, Debra Hoven, Phil Hubbard, Joan Jamieson, Louis Janus, Mark Kaiser, Gabriele Kasper, Orlando Kelm, Dorry Kenyon, Richard Kern, Susan Knight, Marie-Noƫlle Lamy, Karen Landahl, Colin Lankshear, Batia Laufer, Jim Lee, Lara Lomicka, Donna Long, Mike Long, Allan Luke, Mary Ann, Hyman-Hager, Paul Mandell and Dominic Massaro, are asked not to leave the state of Florida.

We've interviewed Nicole's childhood friends. Starting from Kindergarten: Susanne McLaughlin, Carla Meskill, Lydie Meunier, Brian Morgan, Jack Mostow, Kathryn Murphy-Judy, Denise Murray, Diane Musumeci, Noriko Nagata, Jim Noblitt, John Norris, David Novick, Kenton O'Hara, Richard Omanson, Lourdes Ortega, Sue Otto, John Paolillo, Peter Patrikis, Jill Pellettieri, Joy Kreeft Peyton, Jan Plass, India Plough and Randi Reppen.

Her drinking buddies at the MoonGlow Bar & Grill have come forward. Their names are: Margaret Riel, Bruce Roberts, Richard Robins, Warren Roby, Jenise Rowekamp, Rafael Salaberry, Richard Schmidt, Jean Schultz, Dan Shanahan, John Shore, Carmen Simich-Dudgeon, Ilana Snyder, Maggie Sokolik, Nancy Sullivan, Janet Swaffar, Seppo Tella, Shou-hsin Teng, Kathleen Tyner, Rob van Kranenburg, Leo van Lier, Kate Wolfe-Quintero, Ted Yao, Shuqiang Zhang, Zheng-Sheng Zhang and Yong Zhao.

Everyone is a suspect in this case, so don't leave the Earth.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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