It has been reported by unconfirmed sources that the undisputed 'King of Pop' Michael Jackson died while engaged in unblocking his rectum on a gold-plated toilet.
The star had just completed a rigorous training session involving weightlifting small children over his head, when he suddenly had the urge to take a toilet break.
In Jackson family parlance, a 'toilet break' is usually a reference to a session of masturbation behind closed doors but in this case it actually did refer to taking a shit.
It was said that Jackson was discovered 20 minutes later with rolled up $50 bills sticking out of his ass.
Elvis went exactly the same way - except in his day he had $5 bills shoved up his ass.
The toilet was a gift from a wealthy Bahrain sheik who is a homosexual and sometimes child abductor.