Wars And Guns Kill More Than Abortions Stop Fertilized Eggs
On the one hand, there are pro-life people. No abortion for the fourteen-year-old rape victim. Abortions kill. On the other hand, the same pro-life people are pro-gun. A gun isn't like a Kitchen Aid or a leaf blower. Guns kill people. While Su…
Read full storyIceland Is Melting At The Rate of 7% Per Year And At That Rate By The Year 2037, It Will Simply Become An Iceberg
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The government of Iceland has just received some extremely bad news from the World Federated Weather Service (WFWS). According to expertistic experts, research has shown that due to global warming, Iceland is meltin…
Read full storyChina Wants To Buy Facebook
HONG KONG, China - (Satire News) - Word eminating from Wall Street is that the Republic of China headed by Xi Jinping, is interested in buying Facebook. The Chinese leader says that he loves being on Facebook and checking up on his distant relativ…
Read full storyMelania Trump Finally Gets Her "I Love Donaldo" Tattoo Lasered Off Her Bikini Line
MANHATTAN, New York - (Satire News) - It is no secret that Melania hated living in Florida, because of the fucking mosquito infestation. She also hated the fact that the state has seen more hurricanes in the past three years, than in the previous 19…
Read full storyFuck Xi Jinping – Buy the T-shirt!
After Drew Pavlou, an Australian activist with the Democratic Alliance, held up a sign reading ‘Fuck Xi Jinping”, and got into a scuffle with a bunch of brainwashed Chinese Jinping-lovers, t-shirt sales displaying the curse in Chinese have sold like…
Read full storyChinese Dead or Alive: They All Look Alike
Shanghai, Taiwan - Due to the ongoing Covid lockdown in China’s most populous city, the dead are desperately trying to out-number the living. But the living are getting payback! An elderly resident of a care home was carted out by government me…
Read full storySupreme Court Coin Toss
Knowing little to nothing about how the American Supreme Court makes and breaks laws, I asked my Zen master if he could offer enlightenment. Master Hoo plucked a shiny coin from inside his paisley rayon slacks and held it up to the light for me to…
Read full storyIowa Has Just Banned The Use of The Words "Nude," "Naked," and "Vagina"
DES MOINES, Iowa - (Satire News) - The Iowa Senate has just voted on banning three words that most Iowans consider to be nasty words. Since Iowa, is home to over 700,000 prudish folks, the senate vote on the word(s) ban was 69 for the ban, 27 agai…
Read full storyMan still recovering from reading books by Nadine Dorries
Although it is nearly a year, bookworm and equal opportunities bod Gary Johnson is still recovering from reading the collective works of Nadine Dorries. Gary told us 'I have always been one of those people who gives authors a good go, regardless o…
Read full storyCouple shocked that actress looks different to how she was twenty years ago
Gary and Lorraine Johnson were shocked to learn that an actress looked different to how they remembered her. 'Gary and I were watching DI Ray last night, and we were both shocked to see that Parminder Nagra looked a bit different to how she did in…
Read full story"Is Boris Johnson actually real?" Asks teenager
Teenager Gareth Wotsit, a new chap around Mithering on the Trent has asked a question we all would like the answer to: Is Boris Johnson actually real? The Prime Minister has many traits that the right-wing press would find deplorable in other fiel…
Read full storySen. Madison Cawthorn Has More Problems Than Even His Hero Donald Trump
VENUS FLY TRAP, North Carolina - (Satire News) - The much troubled senator from Upper Carolina, as North Carolinians call their state, now has even more problems. Cawthorn, which means chimp chump in Zimbabwean, is now being charged with insider t…
Read full storyA Photo of a Sexy, Hot, Gorgeous Bikini-Clad Ivanka Trump Has Surfaced On The Internet
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Bedroom Pillow Talk has just revealed that a very sexy, revealing photo of the former first daughter, Ivanka "Tits" Trump has just been posted to the Internet. The photo, according to BPT writer Carolina Chipotle was ta…
Read full storyMan on micro news website still being critical
Andy, you know Andy? That bloke with no surname? Thinks he is Cher or Madonna, or Pele, one of those famous people with no need for a surplus surname. Anyway, he has been critical on a micro news website, again. Obviously, we may well be stereotyp…
Read full storyLocal women knifed husband after disappointing dolphin-spotting trip
A 54-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London repeatedly stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife after a holiday, dolphin-spotting boat trip ended in failure an Old Bailey court heard yesterday. Tracy Dell, a haidresser from Berner Street,…
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, and Lionel Richie Have Just Purchased A National Fast Food Chain
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The L.A. Watchdog Witnesser News Agency has just broken the story that the three judges on "American Idol" have just completed a purchase of one of the most profitable fast food chains in the nation. The three A.I. vete…
Read full storyThe Pope Meets With Putin And He Tells Him To Go To Hell!
THE VATICAN - (World Satire) - The pope has just informed a reporter with The Vatican View that he wants all Catholics, and actually people of all religions including Episcopites, Presbyforatellos, Evanlithicans, Lutherinos, and even those wayward at…
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