VENUS FLY TRAP, North Carolina - (Satire News) - The much troubled senator from Upper Carolina, as North Carolinians call their state, now has even more problems.
Cawthorn, which means chimp chump in Zimbabwean, is now being charged with insider trading, outsider transvestism, falsifying his birth certificate, and illegally printing up $25 bills.
The Carolina senator flat out denies that he is a cross dresser, adding that all of his underwear were purchased at the men's department at Target.
He did admit, however, that the pink string bikini panties that he does own were given to him by his urologist Dr. Agatha P. Fireweed for Christmas.
Meanwhile in Other News. Experts say that Iceland is melting at the rate of 7% per year, and at that rate by the year 2037, it will simply become a big ass iceberg.
