Chinese Dead or Alive: They All Look Alike

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Tuesday, 3 May 2022


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All Those Who Are Dead Please DO NOT Raise Your Hands

Shanghai, Taiwan - Due to the ongoing Covid lockdown in China’s most populous city, the dead are desperately trying to out-number the living.

But the living are getting payback!

An elderly resident of a care home was carted out by government medical officials in hazmat suits recently, which has become such a ‘normal’ sight that no one notices anymore.

That might be the problem.

As the man was being transferred from gurney into a hearse, the hazmat ‘medical’ inspectors heard something from inside the bodybag, so they unzipped it and realized that the corpse had failed to be dead.

One spokesperson this reporter talked to anonymously said, “Living or dead, who can tell who’s who? People are starving and sick and in constant pain, so they could easily just be out cold from fainting due to lack of food. In China, there are so many reason for the living to look or act dead – to get out of being a slave to the state, to run screaming from the country completely and denounce the fascism from a safe distance, to just live on a deserted island where no one insists you love assholes like Mao Tse Tung or Xi Jinping or else you’re gonna die. You name it – there’s no reason for anyone beyond a millionaire or billionaire to live in such a shithole country!”

The man or women then told me he or she would deny having ever said anything to me before they sprinted away and got back into their hazmat suit.

I left China before I was rounded up and ‘re-educated’.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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