MANHATTAN, New York - (Satire News) - It is no secret that Melania hated living in Florida, because of the fucking mosquito infestation. She also hated the fact that the state has seen more hurricanes in the past three years, than in the previous 19 years combined.
Melania recently told her BFF, Meghan Markle, that living in Florida was like living in hell; it was hot, it was muggy, and Donaldo and Gov. DeSantis were both the co-devils.
The Slovenian-born long-legged beauty told Markle that truth be told, she hates her husband more than she hates the wrinkles on her labia majora.
She confessed to MM that she finally went in to get her "I Love Donaldo" tattoo lasered off of her bikini line.
Melania said that it was definitely $371 well spent.
Meanwhile, the Trumptard who is starting to gain weight at the rate of 1.5 pounds per day said that Melania was just upset because he has tattoos with the names Maria, Marjorie, Hope, and Omarosa tattooed on various parts of his orange-tinted body.
