Meteorologists Blame Trump For The Worst Heat Wave In History and Are Now Calling It The Trumpapalooza Heat Wave
PHOENIX, Arizona - (Satire News) - The never before seen atrociously damnable heat wave that is gripping the nation is a direct result of global warming and climate change. In fact, weather meteorologists have actually started placing the blame on…
Read full storyPrince William and Prince Harry Are Still At Each Other's Throats - Grandmama Elizabeth Is Fit To Be Tied
LONDON - (Satire News) - The two royal brothers, who are also Queen Elizabeth's grandsons, are still fussing, feuding, and fuzzing, as if they are the English version of West Virginia's The Hatfields and The McCoys. Prince William and Prince Harry…
Read full storyThree Little Dicks
Three fascist dictators gathered in Iran. They were an Iranian, a Russian and a Turk. I feel a joke approaching. The Russian said he was the best dictator (or dick, I don’t want to type all those letters; I’m such a literary dick) of them all sinc…
Read full storyDozens of Wildfires Spread Out of Control All Over London!
LONDON - (Satire News) - One longtime resident of London, Reginald F. McPatio, 67, said that he has never seen so much damn fire and so much damn smoke in his entire life. He noted that watching the out-of-control English fires on the telly, was l…
Read full storyJessica Simpson Has Agreed To Lend Her Voice To The Newly Added Masseuse Cartoon Character On "The Simpsons"
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - One of the most successful TV cartoon series of all time is "The Simpsons." TV show experts are now predicting that the show will become even more popular than ever due to the fact that the deliciously sexy sexpot Jessi…
Read full storyLondon is Burning, and You Live by the River
Okay, my bad, I have been singing the wrong lyrics for years. When The Clash sang “London is drowning”, I swear to the gods of punk music I thought Joe Strummer was singing “London is burning.” See, ‘cuz then the next line makes strange hopeful s…
Read full storyCredit Card Numbers Are Getting Longer and Longer - For Example 7390 2742 0831 7062 1093
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Nowadays, everything is totally automated and computerized. When, you call your dentist you end up talking to four different recording machines and six different departments. After having to listen to recordings wit…
Read full storyIvanka Trump Says That Her Evil Father Is Now Nothing More Than Just An Irrelevant "Has Been"
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Donald Trump is mad that Ivanka threw him under the bus. Ivanka is mad that her father forcibly kissed her on the mouth at least 17 times a day. And "Dopey" Trump (Donald Trump Jr.) is mad that his brother "Goofy" (Eri…
Read full storyPi for You & Me
The Greek alphabet has 24 letters. After Omicron comes Pi. When are we getting some Pi? There will always be a new variant because this is the new normal for the 2020s. From 2000 to 2019 we had terrorism to worry about. (Ah, remember terrorists? W…
Read full storyBig Beavers Gotta Go!
The guards outside Buckingham Palace are sweating in those giant disco beaver hats. They need water. It’s a frickin’ heatwave, baby! Given the fashion of the guards and that pesky thing known as the weather, Buckingham Palace is reconsidering gett…
Read full storyComing Soon to a Theatre Near You … Oil Man!
That’s right, Disney has given into Big Oil to create a new superhero named Oil Man! He will fight for the rights of oil producers to suck as much oil out of the ground, burn it up, and send smoke billowing into the ozone … for the good of all hum…
Read full storyThe REAL Real Donald Trump
A little known Trump family member, Hymie Myron Marian Trump, has just been released from his attic home in a spooky Victorian mansion to reveal … that “the Real” Donald Trump is not! Hymie reported, “The real Donny was my best friend and half-bro…
Read full storyWas President Pussy Grabber Incompetent?
The latest proves the guy should never have been near the Oval Office or Washington D.C. It was terrible enough learning President Pussy Grabber flushed Top Secret documents down the White House toilet. But now, through the January 6th Committee…
Read full storyDonald "Dopey" Trump Reveals That His Sexy Puerto Rican Cougar Fiancée Kimberly Guilfoyle Taught Him a Lot of Sexual Positions
MANHATTAN, New York - (Satire News) - Donald Trump Jr., who is also known as "Dopey," recently told his younger brother Eric "Goofy" Trump that his Latina fiancée is one very mucho hot muchacha! Kimberly Guilfoyle is 53, and Don Jr., is 44, so as…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Admits That She Still Wants To Have Trump's Baby
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene is 48, but she proudly boasts that she has the sexy, sensuously erotic body of a woman who is 28. She notes that politicians like Gatez, Jordan, Cruz, McCormick, and of course the Trumptard…
Read full storyAlex Jones The GOP Ignorant Tub of Lard Goes Ballistic As a Restaurant Patron Throws a Bowl of Chicken Soup In His Face
HUTTO, Texas - (Satire News) - The alt-right extremist who believes that Democrats came from Mars, keeps showing exactly how much of a fucking, fucked up racist asshole he is every time he opens his douche bag mouth and spews forth his nasty, vulgar,…
Read full story