Three Little Dicks

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Tuesday, 19 July 2022

image for Three Little Dicks
They'll Huff and They'll Puff ... and Hopefully Just Blow Smoke

Three fascist dictators gathered in Iran. They were an Iranian, a Russian and a Turk. I feel a joke approaching.

The Russian said he was the best dictator (or dick, I don’t want to type all those letters; I’m such a literary dick) of them all since he had nukes and the others didn’t.

He then took his shirt off and laughed in Russian (which, strangely, sounds like a chainsaw ripping through a squealing pig).

The Iranian tried to compete saying he was a religious dick and made everybody follow laws over a thousand years old – “Older than the Vikings, bitches!” he remarked. “No separation between mosque and state in my house, bitches!” He said ‘bitches’ a lot, since concubines, as well as abortion, were perfectly legal in his country, or ‘house’. But the other two didn’t care, since one of them also led by the same laws, just not as cruelly. Women and gay people were always evil in all three countries, so at least they had that in common.

The Turk said he led the only democracy and his country was half-Asian and half-European.

The Russian said his was too. They almost came to fisticuffs until the Iranian moved in with a hookah filled with hash, since alcohol wasn’t legal in his country. But concubines and abortion both were!

They all got stoned and talked about the dicks of the West, wondering which dicks of all the world’s dicks would eventually control the globe.

The Eastern Dick, from China, wasn’t invited since he said he not only had more nukes than the Russian but more people – a.k.a., more potential soldiers, if shit got serious and total war happened. But he was also trying to control the world through money instead of war, which the three dicks didn’t understand completely since they didn’t have as much money as the Eastern Dick.

Three little dicks are having a little party tonight. They will sacrifice some virgins, each shrooms and smoke more hash, and promise each other to always be best buddy dicks, not matter who tries to huff and puff and blow the world down … or up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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