NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Donald Trump is mad that Ivanka threw him under the bus. Ivanka is mad that her father forcibly kissed her on the mouth at least 17 times a day. And "Dopey" Trump (Donald Trump Jr.) is mad that his brother "Goofy" (Eric) is as stupid as a bag of melted gummy bears.
Meanwhile Melania Trump is off gallivanting down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, with the man she calls the Hercules of Basketball (LeBron James).
Ivanka recently told BuzzFuzz reporter Tafetta Kixx that her Has Been father cannot stand the fact that a yeast infection is now MORE popular than he is.
Meanwhile a Mar-a-Lago maid reveals that the Trumptard is now spending his days in his bedroom, sullen, bitter, and eating Big Macs, while looking at nude photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene, Maria Bartiromo, Stormy Daniels, and Nancy Pelosi.