The Reason Slippery Rock University Forfeited Their Last Football Game
SLIPPERY ROCK, Pennsylvania - (Sports Satire) - The Sports Bet Gazette has just learned the real reason why the Slippery Rock Rocketes had to forgeit their last game. According to Zorro La Bamba, who heard it from one of the stadium hot dog vendor…
Read full storyEric Cantona, David Beckham, and Pele, Want To Buy Real Madrid
LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - Rumors swirling around the soccer world reveal that the soccer trio of Eric Cantona, David Beckham, and Pele want to purchase La Liga's Real Madrid team. "Los Blancos" are one of the most popular sports teams in the…
Read full storyBritains High Court - O.K. to Send Migrants to Rwanda - Spokesman Says - a 'Tropical Paradise'
CCN reported recently that the British High Court legally approved Rishi’s (and Braverman's) right to send illegal migrants to the Central African country of Rwanda. Rishi is going to give $120 Million Pounds of taxpayer money (a huge sum) to Rw…
Read full storyAn Extremely Muscular Woman Says She Pegged Trump On Three Different Occasions
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - National Rumblings writer Traci Diddle broke the story that an extremely muscular woman from Burnt Cornbread, Alabama, has revealed that back when the Trumpturd was living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, she pegged the…
Read full storySoccer Players Lionel Messi and Eric Cantona Argue About Who Has The Bigger Balls
QATAR - (Soccer Satire) - Many who viewed the 2022 FIFA World Cup games agree that even though most of the games were about as exciting as watching rust, rust there were some, somewhat interesting moments. Pisagovian goalie, Findino Flippachini sp…
Read full storyBoth North Dakota and South Dakota Have Voted To Ban The Use of The Word Vagina
PIERRE, South Dakota - (Satire News) - In a unique move the two sister states of North and South Dakota have voted to ban the use of the explicit term for pussy (vagina). North Dakota senator Marge Overdown, 59, of Cold Balls, North Dakota, said t…
Read full storyGuardian reading music fan has not heard of any of the artists in their 50 best of list
Although he is a fan of most forms of music, Guardian-reading dad Gary Johnson has not heard of many of the acts or albums in the Guardian's 50 best albums of 2022. 'I have heard of some of them' said Gary 'I mean I have heard of the Arctic Monkey…
Read full storyA shop you don't remember visiting has sent you a Christmas Card
A shop you don't remember visiting has sent you a Christmas card. The store, known throughout your small city for its bespoke furniture, small portions of food served in the onsite Cafe, unseemly grafitti art and very high business rates has sent…
Read full storyMan who asks if he should leave, told to leave
Mr Norris, a man in a pub, has asked everyone if he should leave and has been told, much to his own shock and dismay, that yes, he should indeed leave. The 47-year-old, who has done quite well for himself, thank you very much was telling everyone…
Read full storyWoman who bangs on about Witchcraft on Facebook is not actually a witch
Pamela Sprocket is always posting on Facebook about Witchcraft, but she is not actually a witch. Posting about the sap in Christmas Trees, and what it means in the world of Wiccan she said 'As a practising witch for many years, I know about the da…
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo and Chicharito Open Up a Sports Bar in Madrid
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - The International Inquirer is reporting that two of the greatest soccer players of all time have just opened up a sports bar in Madrid. According to writer Paco Tabasco, the bar which is co-owned by Cristiano Rona…
Read full storyA North Korean Plane Flies Over Seattle and Instantly Gets Blasted To Hell
SEATTLE - (Satire News) - US information guru Andy Cohen reveals that the government is trying to keep it on the down low, but a North Korean small plane flew into US airspace near Seattle. The plane a Consolidated Cesna PQ-9 was reportedly carryi…
Read full storyLionel Messi and Diego Maradona Both Say They're The Greatest Soccer Player In Argentinian History
BUENOS AIRES, Argentina - (Sports Satire) - Reports filtering out of the Pampas of Argentina state that the two best soccer players in South America are bickering like high school schoolgirls over which one is the best player in Argentina. Lionel…
Read full storyBuckingham Palace May Be Condemned
LONDON - (Satire News) - King Charles III, told BBC reporter Oceana Figgly, that he is sad to have to say that Buck House may have to be condemned. Charles told the extremely sexy-looking Miss Figgly, that a recent inspection of the palace turned…
Read full storyMeghan Markle's Revealing Book is Titled, "Queen Elizabeth Did Not Like Me Because I Was Not White Like Kate Middleton"
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Meghan Markle's new book really hits the British press and the British royalty right below the belt; and well it should. The fantastically revealing, behind-the-scenes book is titled "Queen Elizabeth Did Not Like Me…
Read full storyLionel Messi Addresses The Counterfeiting Charges
QATAR - (Sports Satire) - Argentinian soccer player Lionel Messi proclaims that the charges that he printed up fake $100 bills are without basis. Messi, whose Argentinian team defeated the team from France said that a reporter with The Wild Whispe…
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