SLIPPERY ROCK, Pennsylvania - (Sports Satire) - The Sports Bet Gazette has just learned the real reason why the Slippery Rock Rocketes had to forgeit their last game.
According to Zorro La Bamba, who heard it from one of the stadium hot dog vendors, the Rockets were forced to forfeit the game, when it was learned that two defensive lineman and one punter were all high on Venezuelan Valor Vu, which is a close cousin of Durango Bango Marijuana.
At first the two lineman identified as Vonzello Plipper (#77), and Jeremiah VanDuzzer (#79), along with fourth year punter Musco Carruba (#3) tried to tell school officials that they all got sick on expired Gatorade.
When told that the expiration date on the orange Gatorade was 8/8/23, the trio simply said "Hmmmmmmm."
The game ended with The Slippery Rock Rockets 42, and Swamp State Crocodiles 7, but the game went to Swamp State.
