Putin Smiles like a Vampire
So THAT’S why Vlad Putin has been smiling all these years! (He drained Trump of all blood, willpower, and secrets, plus a ton of money and promises!) Donald Trump mentioned Edward Snowden – how did he get classified docs and give them to others, w…
Read full storyBritney Spears Says That The Rash She Had On Her Sexy Ass Has Gone Away
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily writer Macadamia Honeysuckle said she spoke with Britney Spears at a local In 'N' Out fast food restaurant. The two, have known each other since Brit had her big hit, "Opps!...I Did It Again" back in 2009…
Read full storyThey're Finally Here! McDonalds Now Has McJello Shots!
CICERO, Illinois - (Business Satire) - After receiving literally thousands of suggestions from Mickey D patrons, the golden arches corporation has decided to add a new adult item to their ever-growing menu. McDonalds, in every state is now serving…
Read full storyPresident Biden Is Making An Emergency Trip To Costa Rica
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre informed the US news media that POTUS had to make an emergency trip to Costa Rica. The press secretary said that the reason for the trip is to see about doing someth…
Read full storyPowell May Go On Lifting Interest Rates Forever
Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell shook up Wall Street this week by announcing his attention to raise interest rates. The Reserve Chair admitted the latest rate hike would lead to job losses and slow the economy, which is already contracting. Powel…
Read full story'Supreme' Amy Conant Bryant to Give Summer Class - 'Next, Getting Rid of Abortion Pills'
Ex - law professor and Supreme Court member, Amy Bryant will give summer courses at her radical religious group's - 'People of Praise' church in South Bend, Indiana. If Religion dominates your life - apply. She is one of the leaders of the cu…
Read full story"England Has Shitty Beaches" says Swimmers Against Sewage
In England, the sewer pipes double as storm water pipes. When there are storms the storm water floods out to sea and takes the sewage with it. These are all very old Victorian sewer pipes, and the system has never been completely updated.
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Has Lost 7 Pounds On Her Amazing Sardine Diet
LONDON - (UK Satire) - The Bees Knees News Agency recently reported that the queen was a bit upset with herself after she had put on 2¼ pounds at England's famed Mick Jagger Music Festival and Eating Contest, which was recently held in Tottenham.
Read full storyWTF, Ethiopia? Goddamn it!
Can anyone tell me what’s going on in Ethiopia? I just saw a photo of a man cut in half, his two halves pointing a different direction! This is in the Tigray region? What is so bad that you have to bomb people in half? Kids too. I’ll admit, like…
Read full storyThrowing Illegal Snowballs in Trudeau’s Blackface
Snow balls will soon be made illegal in Canada, just before winter sets in, as decreed by His Lord and Worship, Justin Trudeau. (aka, Al Jolson.) Trudeau’s ratings have fallen in the polls. Canadians on all sides of the aisle don’t like the guy an…
Read full storyTrump Officially Registers As A Foreign Agent; Resort Renamed To 'FARA-Lago'
Defeated former President Donald Trump has been officially registered as a foreign agent as per Foreign Agent Registration Act (FARA) filings. Trump who is already under multiple investigations including the Georgia election probe, and the January…
Read full storyThe Lusciously Sexy Cheryl Cole Who Wants To Be England's New Prime Minister Has Just Been Endorsed By The Buckingham Palace Guards Union
LONDON - (Satire News) - Reporter Grover Buck, with Tickety Boo News has just announced that one of the most prestigious unions in the United Kingdom has just endorsed Cheryl Tweedy (aka Cheryl Cole) to be the next PM of England. The 39-year-old s…
Read full storyThe Largest McDonalds In The USA Opens Up In Mississippi
BULOXI, Mississippi - (Business Satire) - According to American Foodie News, the largest Mickey D's in the giant burger chain has just opened on the gulf beach at Buloxi, Mississippi. The new restaurant will feature several very popular Dixieland…
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