WTF, Ethiopia? Goddamn it!

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 27 August 2022


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for WTF, Ethiopia? Goddamn it!
When this is a playground ... something's wrong.

Can anyone tell me what’s going on in Ethiopia? I just saw a photo of a man cut in half, his two halves pointing a different direction! This is in the Tigray region? What is so bad that you have to bomb people in half? Kids too.

I’ll admit, like most of you, that I don’t know the issue …

… (cuz my media don’t saying nothing but nice things, mostly about politics and Hunter Biden and his wacky laptop – who the fuck cares? Jimmy Carter had a brother who was an embarrassment … Meghan Markle has a daddy with issues that embarrass Her Royal Snobbery … every family has a black sheep, but when the enemy can’t find anything baaaaaad on the white sheep (thank you, yes, I did that, and I won’t apologize), then you have to attack the black sheep just to get SOME kind of news … back to Ethiopia, where real problems are happening …

God damn! They do NOT censor the media in that country, do they? (Refreshing, I admit, but I didn’t want to see that). Makes you think what your western media isn’t showing you. Will the powers of good intervene? Hey, America, you so tough on badness, where you at? Still scarred from Blackhawk Down? Was that there or Somalia? See … people in the west don’t know the difference between those two countries … except when there’s a music festival to feed people … is there not enough food and clean drinking water for everyone on this planet …yet? (Bono? Hello, Bono, are you there or on Lolita Island … will he be writing songs to solve Ethiopia’s problems? Is Bono a singing Jesus?)

The more things change … why do some countries always get into the news for all the wrong reasons? (Which seems to be why most countries ever make the news. Ever heard anything good or bad coming from Papua New Guinea? How are they doing? Any warlords killing kids and cutting people in half with bombs? WTF, Ethiopia?)

And that’s really all anyone can say …WTF? Stop doing that, whatever you gotta do, run and hide, cross a border, get in a boat and start sailing (oh shit, but don’t go to Britain … they don’t like people crossing the Channel without their say-so … “Commander, desperate people in need of humane rescue off the starboard bow … you may fire when ready!). Is it your religion, your politics, Ethiopia? See what that shit does to people? Get rid of both and we all might be able to live in peace without seeing halves of humans littered in the dust.

Fuck it, I’m outa here … enough internet for me today, thanks Twitter (ain’t it a shame when social media will show me things my country’s “official” media will not? And that’s why Presidents and PMs and Lords and Ladies want to censor the net. China got there first, or was it North Korea? And the rest soon shall follow.)

Goddamn, Ethiopia!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more