Tales From Beaver Crossing: Smuckmeister And The Duck
BILLINGSGATE POST: There’s nothing like a good duck story to start the New Year. And nobody tells a duck story better than Elmer Smuckmeister, the most famous resident of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska. He swears it happened. It was duck season in Neb…
Read full storyJudges Stumped In 'The Voice' Contestant Shock
Judges on UK's The Voice were left stunned and unsure what to do, when a contestant revealed he had no sad back story. Unbeknownst to the judges at this point, the assembled Zoom audience had already become unsettled, when the contestant was intro…
Read full storyPresident Trump Has Gained 47 Pounds Since He Lost The Election
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The President’s personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, says that he is very concerned about Trump having gained 47 pounds since getting soundly defeated in the presidential election. The doctor said that Trump has a…
Read full storyDavid Cameron Found In Attic
Missing David Cameron has been found in an attic in the Cotswolds, when residents put away their Christmas decorations. The ex-UK Prime Minister, who was pretty much responsible for the whole Brexit debacle, has been missing since stepping down, s…
Read full storyMan Almost Fainted Watching News Report About Coronavirus Vaccine Rollout
A news report regarding the delays in the COVID-19 vaccination program in the US, was almost too much for one viewer, who, unable to endure the sight of so many needles being thrust into bare human flesh, very nearly passed out. When vaccinations…
Read full storyLocal Man Given 2 1/2 Month Notice by Employer Spends It At Golf Course, Demanding His Job Back
Washington D.C. - A Washington D.C. area man residing on Pennsylvania Ave., recently given a 2 1/2 month notice by his employer that he would be terminated on January 20th and forced to vacate his residence, has decided to spend the remaining time of…
Read full storyOrganization of Ducks Who Are Lame Say It’s Unfair to Associate Them With Trump
Washington D.C. - An organization dedicated to the care and rehabilitation of ducks who have been injured in various accidents and shootings has lodged complaints with news organizations, Congress and others using the term "Lame Duck" to describe out…
Read full storyFootball Pundits Argue And Almost Come To Blows On Show
There was real drama on TV this lunchtime, when two football pundits, Don Hutchison and Leroy Rosenior, started arguing and almost came to blows during a conversation they were having about whether Eric Cantona or Bruno Fernandes had been the more in…
Read full storyTrump Almost Conceded Election Last Week Until He Saw Melania's Interior Decorating at Mar-A-Lago
West Palm Beach, Florida - Lame duck president, Donald Trump, who spent his Christmas vacation at his private resort Mar-A-Lago in Florida, had decided, on his way from Washington D.C., to concede the U.S. election to President-elect Joe Biden, but c…
Read full storyEco Warrior Dies In Christmas Shock
An 18 year old eco-warrior has died this weekend, after her attempts to save the planet went horribly wrong. Clara 'Serendipity' Parker took a stand against what she called the UK's 'mass culling' of over 6 million Christmas trees, by protesting o…
Read full storyDrunk Mountain Biker falls off his bike and lands a Red Bull contract!
Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Bavaria, Germany: After celebrating New Year's Eve at a swinging party in Bavaria, a mountain-biker, totally 'smashed', jumped on his bike hoping the German 'Old Bill' were too busy snuffing out illegal parties organised by yo…
Read full storySexual Predator Ghislaine Maxwell Says Prison Has Turned Her Into A Flaming Lipstick Lesbian
OSSINING, New York – (Satire News) – The biggest female sexual predator of our time, Ghislaine Maxwell, was recently interviewed by a reporter with The Channel 69 Eye Gazer News, in her cell at Sing Sing Federal Prison for Women. Maxwell told Cha…
Read full storyJapan Has Developed The World’s Most Amazing Camera
TOKYO – (Business Satire) – The Japanese camera company, Tora Tora Tora, has just informed the news media of their brand new state-of-the-art camera. Toki Shimiyoki, CEO of Tora Tora Tora, said that the XX-Y13 Bonsai Baby will revolutionize the ca…
Read full storyDemi Lovato and Miley Cyrus Seen Making Out at The La Brea Tar Pits
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – In a time when genderism is becoming harder and harder to pinpoint, many individuals are now identifying as transgender, cisgender, third gender, fluid gender, and even fender gender. Hollywood Vis-à-Vis reports that…
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